14 Stories

and joy to the world.

I wrote this post that appeared in the Huffington Post today.  It tells you a little more about my own story.  I hope you enjoy it and hope you have a fantastic holiday season and amazing new year.  

Why I Love the Holidays With My In-Laws

In my business, the business of gay weddings, I meet lots of couples who don’t have their parents as guests at their wedding, lots of couples who have created a “chosen family” because their real family doesn’t accept them, lots of couples who aren’t invited to Christmas dinner.

My parents passed away a long time ago, before I ever came out to my very religious dad and before my mom ever met any of my girlfriends. She wasn’t so wild about the idea of me being gay anyway, but she eventually said the magic words every gay kid wants to hear: “I love you no matter what.”  

After my parents died, there was this long period of time – most of my twenties, really - in which Christmas was especially depressing.  My siblings are all much older than me and prior to meeting Jen (who I married), I felt particularly orphaned on Christmas.  My siblings and I didn’t have parents to force us together, and sometimes we just weren’t.  

I’m so thrilled to say that now I love Christmas.  My in-laws are truly awesome and I couldn’t be more grateful for their support of our little family.

Holidays with the Coveneys are really fun.  Even us adults get to act like kids.  We all come down the stairs on Christmas morning where my mother-in-law has made gooey “monkey bread” for us all to pass around while we’re opening presents.  We each have a stocking full of stuff – and every year, we each get Eddie Bauer shoe-shine and new socks.  We take turns, one at a time, as we go through the stockings and all the gifts, oohing and aahing and laughing and just enjoying normal togetherness. 

After we’re all unwrapped, usually around 11 or 12, we eat a bigger breakfast, then lounge around and chill out.  Some people watch “Elf”…again.  My brother-in-law and father-in-law play Cribbage.  Sometimes we do tastings – one year we did a whiskey tasting, going through everything from Canadian whiskey to Rye to Irish whiskey and scotch (the single malt scotch won, of course…)   Last year we did a beer tasting (champ:  the Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA).  

Then later on, we have dinner and, if we’re not too tired, play a board game like Cranium or Apples to Apples.  It’s simply great and simply simple.

Now that I have a kid (my son Patrick is 14 months), I’m even more aware of how fortunate we are to have this togetherness, and be able to share traditions with our son – and create traditions of our own.

Lots of couples get engaged this time of year.  Same-sex couples, too.  It’s the season for it.  And I am hoping that those that do can call their parents and say “Hey mom, hey dad – we’re getting married!” and receive the same kind of enthusiasm that Jen, Patrick and I get from the Coveneys.  It’s the best gift any same-sex couple could receive – being treated equally, like one of the family, during the holidays, when they announce their engagement, on their wedding day, and every day thereafter.  

I have many things to be thankful for, and I try really hard to be mindful of that every day, although some days it's easier than others.  I am so grateful for a beautiful, supportive wife, adorable and fun son, and a thriving business in which I get to do much more than plan weddings, but also be an advocate for the LGBT community.  

Our son turned one on Halloween (I can hardly believe it - it seems like he was born yesterday) and is such a joy.  He and Jen make every day beautiful.

We just returned from a family vacation in the Cayman Islands.  We traveled with our dear friends, Brian and Eric, a married gay couple who live in San Diego.  They are in the process of adopting their own child and we know that our future joint family vacations will be full of even more love, joy and pure fun that share together.

For all of these blessings, I am grateful this Thanksgiving and every day.

We live a blessed life.  I am so grateful to wake up every day and work for myself in a business I love and about which I am so passionate.  I am grateful for my wonderful, brilliant and kind clients and my amazing team of wedding vendors who  make their dreams come true.  And I am so grateful for my family, the Coveney-Smith clan.  This year, we added a new addition to the family, our little son, Patrick, so we are more blessed than ever. 

Jen and I are spending this Thanksgiving with my siblings, cousins, aunt, nieces and nephews in upstate New York, the first time they meet Patrick.  There will be 20 of us in all.  Every year for Thanksgiving, we all get together from New York, New Jersey and Massachusetts at my aunt's restaurant in the Catskills.  The restaurant is closed and we have the run of the place with its huge TVs, fantastic food and full bar.  Football is on and the kids play video games.  It's a great place for us all to be together.  Jen and I spend the night in a local hotel with our dog Betty and then go outlet shopping on the drive back to Boston the next day.  We love this tradition and we're so excited to bring Patrick into it.

My parents passed 10+ years ago around this time of year.  I've spent the years since feeling a little lost and lonely around the holidays but this time, for the first time, I have my very own new family.  For that, I am so thankful.  

What are you thankful for?




Family portraits by Kristin Korpos