Weddings Redefined

It's really fun for us when we are hired to make a place look much different than it did before for a couple's wedding.  I'm going to give a few examples of that in the next few posts. 

This wedding below took place at Chimney Corners summer camp in Becket, Massachusetts.  We had the camp for the entire weekend and all of the meals were held in the dining hall below.  After lunch on Saturday, we completely transformed the dining hall for the wedding reception.  

Every time we work in a space, there are some fundamental decisions that happen.  We start by deciding what, if anything in the room, needs to be covered up.  For example, are there particularly ugly walls we need to drape?  Then, we decide if the room(s) need distinct spaces like a lounge or a bar area, and if so, whether or not we need screens or drapes to create sections.  Then, we work through the flow and I create a floor plan (to scale) in our software program.

Once we make these decisions and agree on the flow of the space, we choose decor for the dinner tables.  We start with the linens, and then add each layer on top including charger plates, stemware, flatware, china, napkin (what color), menu at each place setting?, table name signs, table escort and/or place cards, and floral.  And then come the chairs, other furniture and any additional floral and decor elements (like the lighting) throughout the room.

For this summer camp wedding, you can see the results below.  When the guests arrived after the ceremony, they were treated to a dramatic transformation from the room where, just a few hours earlier, they had lunch.  I think the images also illustrate what a powerful team effort wedding production is - we literally can't do any of this without an amazing team.


Photos by Ilene Perlman.  Flowers by Jessica's Country Flowers.  Lighting by Boston Uplights.  Graphic Design by J Sherman Studio.

I'm in Phoenix this week at a conference called The Special Event Show.  I led a workshop this morning called "Traditionally, at a Gay Wedding..."  When I lead these workshops, my goal is to help people in the wedding industry around the country learn about gay culture and gay weddings so that LGBT couples have an easier time with their planning, no matter where they are.  

I think for couples, too, it's good news.  I've trained 200+ vendors in the year or so I've been leading these workshops and these vendors are super excited to work with LGBT couples.  Their enthusiasm gives me a lot of hope that the wedding industry will stop being so "bride" focused in the years to come...

Anyway, already this year there's been marriage equality legislation introduced in Rhode Island and Maryland, and because of the political shifts that occurred in those states during the last election, there's a really great chance gay marriage will come to Rhode Island and Maryland.  Also, it appears that civil unions will come to Illinois (the governor promises to sign that bill next week) and we may even see some marriage equality in New York before the year is out.  Will 14 Stories plan your gay wedding in Newport?  Heck yes, we'll be your Newport gay wedding planner.  They have the most amazing ocean-side venues.

My wife Jen is from Maryland's Eastern Shore and I have clients who are actually moving there later this year.  I can't wait to plan my first wedding in Maryland (Jen would LOVE that!) so 14 Stories will totally be your Maryland gay wedding planner!

We have big plans for 14 Stories this year (our SEVENTH year in business!), and if marriage equality does in fact come to New York, you can bet we'll be there to plan those gay weddings as well.  It's my home state.  We'd never miss that opportunity.

I know the best is yet to come for LGBT couples and you can count on us to be there every step of the way.

Where are you planning to get married?

Last year I wrote a blog series about how to get your parents excited about your gay wedding plans.  I used Jen's parents as examples.  They required some convincing at first but I can promise you that as long as your parents are not completely homophobic, these steps really work.

If you are newly engaged and your parents are a little underwhelmed and under-excited by the news that you're planning a gay wedding, check out these steps below!

Step One: be patient
Step Two: tease them
Step Three: ask for practical advice
Step Four: get the emotional hook
Step Five: ask for financial support (if applicable)
Step Six: give them a simple project
Step Seven: distract them

Are your parents excited for your gay wedding?

We are very pleased to be presenting our wedding planning workshop for engaged same-sex couples Weddings Redefined  at the Vermont Wedding Salon on Saturday, February 5 at 3pm.  This workshop will help engaged LGBT couples get a great handle on how to plan their own wedding. We have presented this workshop in Boston, DC and Chicago in the past and are excited to work with couples in Vermont!  

This two hour workshop will talk about the nuts and bolts of planning your own wedding; gay wedding traditions; where to find gay-friendly wedding vendors and how to design and personalize your wedding.  We get terrific feedback on the workshop and hope you enjoy it too!

The cost to attend is $30/couple and includes hors d'oeuvres, beverages and a great packet of materials.  Space is limited and pre-registration is required.  To sign up, simply complete the form right here!

Let us know if you have any questions!

Engaged couples looking to work with New England's finest venues and vendors should check out The Boston Bridal Lounge, located at 125 Newbury Street in Boston.  The space is very chic - full of flowers, featuring beautiful tablescapes and tons of wedding planning resources.  14 Stories is a member of the BBL so we will be meeting clients in the space and helping them find their own wedding inspiration.

Those of us in the wedding industry who are members have a portfolio binder so couples can check out the local talent.  14 Stories is very excited and proud to be a member.

Stay tuned because in May, we'll be offering two workshops in the space - a training for wedding vendors on LGBT weddings and also a wedding planning workshop for engaged LGBT couples.

My colleague Katie Martin from Elegance and Simplicity and I were interviewed by the Wedding Podcast Network over the summer to talk about same-sex weddings.  I talked about the differences between gay and straight weddings, the role of parents and family members in same-sex weddings and gay wedding traditions.  Katie is author of the Everything Mother of the Bride book and spoke about her experiences with moms and dads at gay weddings.

You can check out the interview right here!

Thanks Katie and thanks Holli for interviewing us!

There is something in the air this week.  I had a wedding this past Saturday at Old South Church and heard from three other couples just this week, also interested in a church ceremony.  That's pretty unusual for me as most of my clients prefer secular ceremonies, but I'm really psyched because I absolutely love a church wedding.

Jen and I grew up Catholic and the sense of ritual and tradition that goes along with the ceremony is something that deeply resonates with both of us...

Here's an amateur photo from Saturday's wedding of the Boston Gay Men's Chorus warming up at Old South.  Why or why not would you want to have your same-sex wedding ceremony in a church?

Why settle for a boring bus, or even a boring limo?  It's fun, and about the same price, to rent a trolley for your wedding...




Photos by Kristin Korpos

How can you tell if a vendor is the right fit for you?  In addition to the obvious (LGBT-friendliness), pay attention to the following things when you're meeting with them:

• Does the vendor listen more than talk?
• Does he or she seem flexible or rigid?
• Does he or she support your ideas or shoot down your ideas?  
• Your gut instinct.  Do you just click?

Many of my clients' weddings require vendors to think outside the box and be creative.  Some vendors are always used to doing things the same way every time.  I like to push the envelope. 

What do you look for when hiring a wedding vendor?

Whether you choose a friend or someone else to marry you, to help you find the person who is best for your needs, here are some questions to ask when meeting with officiants:

• What is your experience with marriage ceremonies for same-sex couples? 
• How do you charge? (You’ll notice that some officiants charge a fee and others accept donations or honorariums, which often go toward the house of worship that they’re affiliated with. Most often these fees are paid in advance, but if not, the payment should include a note of appreciation. This is traditionally presented by the best man, but in gay weddings, can be presented by your wedding planner, best person, or even yourself.)  
• Do you provide a ceremony microphone for yourself and readers? (I recommend a microphone for weddings with more than fifty guests.) 
• Will you attend and run the ceremony rehearsal? If the officiant performs several ceremonies in one weekend, find out whether he or she will be at your rehearsal. Some may not, and if you and/or your planner are not comfortable with that, choose someone else. 
• Do you write custom ceremonies? 
• Do you require pre-marital counseling? 
• Can we write our own vows? 
• Do you have sample readings? 
• How long do your marriage ceremonies usually last?  
• Do you have any audio or video footage of a ceremony you officiated? 

Note that it’s traditional for the officiant and his or her spouse (if applicable) to be invited to the rehearsal dinner and wedding. The officiants I know usually decline because they have their own families and perform at many weddings. But it is a nice gesture to invite them nonetheless.