Weddings Redefined

Most gay weddings are smaller than straight weddings.  The average wedding size of 14 Stories clients is somewhere around 75 guests - but many gay weddings fall below 50 guests.

For small gay weddings, a bed and breakfast or an inn can be a great place for a wedding.  We've worked in the Taylor House in Jamaica Plain several times and have a wedding booked at the Kemble Inn in Lenox later this year.  Like many inns, these have nice sized dining room and foyer spaces and provide options for a beautiful ceremony backdrop and magnificent outdoor gardens.

Some things you should consider when having a gay wedding at a B&B or inn:

• the best style reception is a cocktail reception or food stations
• you'll have to buy out all of the guest rooms - so be prepared to host some guests overnight
• you'll have to bring in lots of rentals - typically tables, chairs, china, flatware, stemware, etc
• you'll need to bring in your own caterer and bartender

Still, having your gay wedding at B&B or inn can be a very affordable and elegant option.


Taylor House


Kemble Inn

Would you consider an Inn or B&B for your wedding venue?

At long last (and sorry for the delay), is my update on the second half of our experience last week in New York.

First off, I should note that we woke to a call from one of my BFFs who told us that the Celebrity Apprentice was shooting near our hotel and that if we wanted to meet Cyndi Lauper, we should get over to Burger Haven. So we headed out to the restaurant and waited in line for lunch (they were serving food for charity).  Like good gays, we couldn't pass up an opportunity to meet Cyndi Lauper, who is definitely a big gay icon and a tremendous supporter of marriage equality.  I've gone to her True Colors tour and it was one of the best concerts of my life.

So Cyndi and Sharon Osborne tag-teamed waited on us.  They are sweethearts!  So were Summer Sanders and Maria Kanellis.  Plus, our other favorite gay icon, Margaret Cho, was waiting in line outside to eat some burgers!  She is so not D-List - I can't believe she had to wait in line.  We also saw Donald Trump Jr, Al Roker, Carol Leifer and others.  It was crazy - I'm not easily starstruck but it was completely surreal and hard to top that.

But we did - that night we headed to the Martha Stewart Weddings 15th Anniversary Party at the Plaza Hotel.  It was completely posh and decadent and a blast.  We chatted with some great people including Rebecca Grinnals, who co-founded Disney Weddings and has her own wedding industry consulting firm; Randy Fenoli from Kleinfeld and Say Yes to the Dress - and his fabulous partner, Michael; and even met that very New York planner from Whose Wedding is it Anyway?, James Tramondo.  One of the highlights was talking to the editor of Martha Stewart Weddings magazine, Darcy Miller.

Jen and I had an absolute blast in New York and were excited to learn that the next issue of Martha Stewart Weddings magazine will feature a real gay wedding.  Way to go Martha! 

I'm thrilled to already be working with five pairs of interesting and dynamic new clients for 2010 Vision package weddings.  My goal is to make sure they all have a venue booked (or close to it) by the time I go away for my wedding and honeymoon.  So far, they have chosen some stunning venues: the State Room; the Fairmont Battery Wharf (brand new property); and the Hyatt Harborside. Two of those three have wedding ceremonies planned at the gorgeous Old South Church.  I love that my clients have excellent taste - it makes my job so much fun!

The venues for the other two clients are still in the works, but one is going to be a gorgeous Cape Cod wedding, with an oceanview ceremony at the bride's parents house.  Very cool.  The energy that new clients bring is always very exciting.

One of the first steps in planning (after you set your budget and guest list) is to go venue shopping.  I highly recommend you go venue shopping with no set wedding date in mind.  Finding a place to get married is one of the most stressful parts of planning - it's such a big deal, really - especially if the venue also provides the food, another really big deal!  And there are so many choices which makes coming up with a short list fairly overwhelming.

So how do I make this process nearly painless for my clients?  It depends on the couple, but I generally start the process by asking a ton of questions - I kind of see it like a Choose Your Own Adventure challenge to be conquered:

• Do you prefer urban or rural?
• Need or strongly prefer a view?
• Need or strongly prefer outdoor space?
• Do you have a big drinking crowd?
• Do you have a lot of guests from out of town/out of state?
• Is your preferred aesthetic classic New England/historic; clean and contemporary; or very modern, funky and stylized?

The answers to those questions give me a good starting point.  But, in some cases, when the client doesn't yet have a vision what their wedding will look and feel like, I bring my big binder of venues and my laptop to their house and we look at options side by side.  I have tons of venues in my binder + dozens more websites bookmarked.  We typically have some wine and look for inspiration amidst the options.  I tend to be pretty good at coming up with a excellent short list of spots to check out, and usually my first or second guess is on target.

Then, since I already know budget, timing and other expectations, I get off and running by creating a spreadsheet of possible venues with the relevant questions answered.  The couple narrows down the options and off we go on site visits, which I typically try to schedule back to back, so everything is fresh in your memory and you don't have to take much time off of work.  I'll explain how those work another day...but my clients like it when they are made to feel extra special on site visits.

So, what's your favorite venue and why?  I'd love to hear about unique or unusual sites.

Jen and I returned today from two days in Vermont, hosted graciously by the Stowe Mountain Lodge.  What a place!  From the moment we arrived, I told them that this is an easy referral to clients.  They completely spoiled us and the service is extraordinary. 

We met other fantastic wedding industry vendors including our new go-to for Vermont floral design, Alan and Wayne from Wildflower Designs and a new planning partner, Amy and Eric from Storied Events.  Great people.


Picture courtesy Closed Circle Photo

Of course, we toured the property's fantastic venues for weddings and are very comfortable putting our trust in them with our clients.  They even have a venue built into a cliff, the Cliff House, which requires that guests approach via gondola - no cars!  Amazing!

I spent a glorious spring Friday with clients doing visits of Cape Cod's most spectacular wedding venues.  From Provincetown to Plymouth, we hit them all - it's a great way to get out of the office.

Cape Cod is a fabulous wedding destination - it feels like nowhere else on earth.  A Cape Cod beach town is not like a beach town in any other state.  The venues combine luxury with rustic charm with stunning views.  There are even venues for every budget, believe it or not, though weddings on the Cape are at a premium in typical wedding season.  Because the Cape relies so heavily on wedding and tourist dollars, many places will require long minimum night stays.  And especially on the outer Cape, there are fewer of each kind of vendor, so you better plan ahead!



As you can see above, there's even a vineyard on the Cape - check out the Truro Vineyards of Cape Cod - I love it!

One of the fun parts of planning a wedding on Cape Cod are the decor elements - beyond the typical flip flops and scallop shells - you can really have fun with the imagery and themes.  I love the dune aesthetic, personally.


It's ironic that I'm writing this entry today because this morning I had an inn in Provincetown cancel on one of my clients for their July wedding (20 guests).  And the inn was within their right to do so - though that certainly didn't make me or my clients happy at all.  Very few places in Provincetown will consider hosting a wedding in July and it's not exactly convenient for guests from out of state, but Ptown is unlike anywhere else on earth and is certainly worth a visit regardless...

If you are considering a wedding on the Cape, there are lots of logistics and it's a bit more complicated than your Boston wedding, especially getting room blocks for your traveling guests, and working with one of the few tent/rental companies on the Cape, and planning for traffic, and finding the best floral designer and photographer.  Though, this stuff is all easy for a professional planner who knows the area.

Second set of photos by Julia Cumes.

I'm working on finding wedding ceremony locations for two new clients this week.  It's been fun.

The first:  two guys from the South are coming up here with ten friends this summer, seeking a wedding inspired by that of John F. Kennedy, Jr.  Do you remember the one?  In a tiny little chapel on Cumberland Island, off the Georgia coast, filled with candelight and very few guests?  So romantic, intimate and the perfect wedding for such a public couple. 

Well, I can do that.  One of the things I like about this wedding is that they have a very clear visual in mind - all I have do to is make it happen.

But, even though I've worked on over 75 weddings and have been to countless more venues, I don't get to see many chapels in  my travels - especially tiny, open and affirming chapels in suburban and rural Massachusetts.  Fortunately, I have great relationships with some officiants who pointed me in the right direction.  I think I may have found a fit yesterday.  The officiant specifically asked me to keep this tiny chapel a secret - I'll post photos but no name or location!  I can visualize it without the podium and table, and filled with candles.  I think it's perfect and I hope they agree.