Weddings Redefined

Stories and advice from Bernadette Smith, visionary owner of 14 Stories, the nation's first firm specializing in creating legal LGBT weddings. Our weddings are unique, personal, beautiful and still, historical. We have offices in Boston and New York.

A Tribute to Umbrellas

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Thursday, March 26, 2009
In honor of Sunday's expected dreary weather and a client's wedding on Sunday, I wanted to post a little tribute to umbrellas.  At one of my very first weddings, the photographer told me that he advises his clients to buy a few large golf umbrellas to ward off rain...but if it does rain, they make for some great photos...and rain is supposedly good luck.







Photo credits, top to bottom: Jacco Vink, Mim Adkins, Sweet Smile


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My Favorite Wedding Blogs

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, March 23, 2009
Like any good bride-to-be and wedding planner, I am an avid blog reader.  It's very satisfying zipping through blogs on my Google Reader while drinking my morning coffee.  I confess a guilty pleasure for Samantha Goldberg, who I'm sure you've seen on Whose Wedding is it Anyway? Sam has two blogs - but the one on the Bridal Guide is tame compared to A Day in the Life of a Wedding Planner.

Although I follow many more than this, these are my faves...

100 Layer Cake (pretty, pretty)
Hostess with the Mostess (fabulous, quirky ideas for entertaining - not just weddings)
Style Me Pretty (the ultimate wedding style blog!)
A Hot Pink Petticoat (inspiration from our neighbors to the north)
Blue Orchid Designs (I love Liene's approach to weddings and education)
Elegance & Simplicity (was eco-friendly before it was cool; love her simple design elements)
Earth Friendly Weddings (from the creators of EarthlyAffair.com)
So You're EnGAYged (the latest and greatest same-sex wedding planning site with my favorite feature - collated blogs from lesbian brides-to-be)

Favorite photo of the day - a DIY escort card project on 100 Layer Cake


Whose Wedding is it Anyway?
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Personalizing Your Wedding Ceremony (Part 1)

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Tuesday, March 17, 2009
When I am asked what my favorite part of a wedding is, my answer is easy: the wedding ceremony.
After all, as much fun as the party is, really it is just a party - and the day is truly about your marriage.

So, how do you make your wedding ceremony personal and uniquely you?  I'll start by telling some fun client stories:
  • One of my first clients ever had a pagan wedding. The brides processed together, holding hands, into a recorded version of "All You Need is Love".  The guest chairs were set up in a circle and they greeted their guests during their processional.  There were four altars at which there were blessings.  There was a traditional handfasting ritual and the wedding concluded with a jumping of the broom!  The brides had exactly the ceremony they envisioned and it was perfectly reflective of themselves.
  • Another pair of brides had a ceremony co-officiated by an interfaith minister and a District Court Judge/noted civil rights attorney.  Their deeply personal, handwritten vows included phrases like, "I promise to walk with you at sunset every chance I get" and "I promise to take you to Italy at least once a year."  They processed out to a live flute and guitar version of "You Are the Sunshine of My Life" by Stevie Wonder.  Goosebumps! 
  • Two grooms with a son had a dear friend officiate their wedding ceremony.  She came into Boston from California quite prepared but try as I might, I couldn't get the grooms to focus on writing their own vows (they had a lot going on in their lives!).  Even at the wedding rehearsal, they still had nothing scripted - nothing like the last minute!  The next day, the ceremony was flawless:  the grooms processed into a live "Trumpet Voluntary", holding their son's hand.  Their friend delivered a stunning ceremony script and the grooms presented before the other the most personal and heartfelt vows I'd ever heard.  There was not a dry eye in the room - and it was so clear why these two gentlemen were absolutely perfect for one another.
  • This past fall, two grooms held their wedding ceremony in their gorgeous living room with thirty friends and family members (who had been drinking champagne and having nibbles for 45 minutes).  The 25 minute ceremony was scripted and delivered by a Celebrant who beautifully told the story of their relationship after asking them to complete individual questionnaires and spending quality time learning about their lives together.  One of the readings was from the book Giovanni's Room, one of the groom's favorite novels...
  • ...and after that wedding ceremony, Jen was convinced that ours should be deeply personal and memorable and not faux-Catholic or a quickie.  We hired that Celebrant to officiate our own wedding.  I spent some time this morning answering three pages of questions about how Jen enriches my life and how we fell in love - and I can't wait to see what our ceremony looks like.

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Choosing the Perfect Wedding Wine

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, March 16, 2009
When planning a wedding, there are so many indulgent details to obsess over.  Jen and I have had so much fun over the past few months indulging in private, at-home wine tastings with potential wedding wines.  It's been great couple-bonding and has been a big obsession of mine (though certainly a fun obsession)!  Our wedding venue provides its own catering and wine list.  We took a look at the list, tried a few, were vaguely disappointed and decided to choose our own and have them order it.  We tried to say within the $10-15/bottle price point because the venue will mark it up 300%.  This has been a fun process...

Choosing the right wine for your wedding can be a wonderful theme-related detail.  For example, I had clients last year who had a travel-themed wedding.  Their custom-designed wedding invitations (below) were boarding passes.  Their table names were photos of places they'd been.  And so on.  The details were great, up to and including their red wine selection, Boarding Pass Shiraz, selected not only because it was thematic but also because they enjoyed the wine.





During the course of wedding planning, it's not unusual for my clients and I to share some wine.  I worked with two gentlemen last fall who always had a beautiful bottle of Chardonnay in their home (never red wine, for fear a spill would damage the beautiful Jonathan Adler furniture).  Together we shared many bottles of wine, and picked out wines for their wedding and holiday party.  Through them, via the local Wine Emporium, I discovered the delicious Liberty School Chardonnay - and its gorgeous buttery color and flavor - robust and fruity, yet with a nice crisp finish. 

When it came time to choose our own wedding wines, I went right for the Liberty School, not even noticing that it could be thematic (we are getting married on the 3rd of July, after all).  Their Cabernet is equally as good and Jen's mom, a red wine aficionado loves it.  I am a big fan of new world styles of wines and big, bold reds.  Their Cab is softer than some - it tastes full of berries with a kick of pepper.  I think it's actually a very fun, summery Cab.

This past Friday night, I went food and wine tasting with clients from Manhattan getting married in April.  Together we tasted an exquisite white called McManis Viognier.  The first thing you notice is the peach aroma.  This is an outstanding wine value at about $12 and my clients chose it for their white offering.   The next day, Jen and I had a bottle and are thinking of switching to the McManis especially since it goes great with the lobster on our menu.  I highly recommend this wine.

I love how our own wedding plans are inspired by my clients, even in tiny ways such as wine selections.  When planning your wedding, don't forget to choose wine you love - it's an inexpensive detail that can speak volumes.


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"So You're EnGAYged" Makes its Debut

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, March 16, 2009
It's About Time is very pleased to be featured on the great new resource for engaged same-sex couples, So You're EnGAYged!



Congrats to two talented photographers, Kelly Prizel and Lara Swanson, for kicking off a great entrepreneurial venture - and best of luck in the new endeavor! 

We all know that same-sex weddings are a growing industry and it's important to look out for one another so we can provide the highest quality, compassionate, visionary service to our clients.  The wedding industry is still very heterosexist and resources such as this one are invaluable to couples struggling to plan their perfect day.


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Weddings on a Dime

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, March 09, 2009
The economy is hitting everyone hard.  It doesn't mean that your wedding design needs to be seriously compromised - we can still plan stunning weddings on a budget.  One trend we've noticed since the economy has gone south is that couples are still planning spectacular weddings - but they are inviting fewer people.  Since food and beverage are typically the mostly costly elements to a wedding, this can mean significant savings.

Some more cost-saving tips...
  • Plan a winter wedding or a wedding on a Friday night or Sunday brunch - you may get vendor discounts (you should definitely ask!) and food and beverage minimums may be lower.
  • Skip some of the stationery elements that are costly and wasteful for the environment.  This means: no favors (which are often left behind), no ceremony programs, perhaps a seating chart instead of escort cards, and you can even skip save-the-date cards.
  • If you have guests who love to drink, consider an open bar with only wine and beer, plus perhaps one delicious signature cocktail.
  • Have your ceremony and reception in the same venue.  Many places will not charge a ceremony fee (like a house of worship would) and you can save on the cost of limos.  Our wedding venue is a block away from our hotel so the hotel guests and brides will all be arriving on foot.
  • Choose flowers that are in season when considering your wedding colors and floral designs.  In-season flowers are much less expensive (and don't have the environmental impact of those transported from around the world).  We are using hydrangea and peonies as the primary flowers for our early July wedding.
  • Use lots and lots and lots of candles!
  • Cupcakes are cute and quite inexpensive - sometimes as low as $1.50 each, instead of the $3.50/slice standard minimum for wedding cakes.  Still want a cake cutting?  Order a small 9" cake to cut!
  • If you have an amazingly articulate, eloquent friend or family member who you would trust to officiate your wedding ceremony, they can do so for $50 with a permit from the state.  This is opposed to Justices of the Peace who charge $150+ and rabbis, ministers and celebrants who are often $500 or more.
  • True DIYers can have fun with homemade centerpieces, handcrafted invitations and more fun DIY projects.
  • Finally, I can't forget to remind you of two things: 1) if you're really stressed about money, elope! and 2) hiring a wedding planner such as myself can save you 10-20% on services like catering, photography, floral design and more.
Let me conclude by suggesting a few areas in which you should not cut corners in the interest of saving:

  • Photography!  You'll regret it later if you do.
  • Music.  I can help you find an affordable DJ.  The flow of the reception will be negatively affected by an Ipod.
  • Your wardrobe.  I want you all to feel like the beautiful brides and grooms you are.  Be sure to feel 100% comfortable and beautiful in your wedding attire.



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