Weddings Redefined

We mailed our wedding invitations to our domestic guests on Tuesday, our international guests last week.  Our wedding is officially 63 days away!  I literally can't wait to see the responses.

Typically wedding invitations are mailed about 6-8 weeks before the wedding, requesting a response within 2-4 weeks.  I get a lot of questions about invitation etiquette and keep a stack of former clients' invitations on hand to show current clients various styles, inspirations and printing methods.

What I like about the invitation (and save the date cards) is that it can be part of a cohesive theme that is carried throughout your wedding stationery - on the ceremony program, escort cards, table name signs, menus and so on.  The save the date and invitation can be part of the process of teasing your guests as to what they may expect on your wedding day.  Enjoy these invitation resources!

The Wedding Workroom had a great blog post this week about invitation printing methods and they broke it down easily and logically, so check that out here.  I'd add, however that high quality digital laser (flat) printing often replaces lithograph printing for more contemporary invitation styles.

Want something completely custom and hand-drawn?  Check out the stunning work of Pier Gustafson.  Yes, he can just address your envelopes but he can also hand-draw a map and entire invitation suite.  Or you can have something custom and personalized cooked up by my favorite designer, J Sherman Studio.

Some couples are looking to green their wedding invitations and I'd recommend that you start with Twisted Limb Paperworks.  We had green wedding invitations but because ours were printed on 100% recycled cotton paper from a fantastic Etsy designer.

If it's easier for you to shop online than in a store, my favorite sites are Wedding Paper Divas, Oslo Press and Papeterie Store.

Many couples don't know what kind of wording to use - I love how the folks at GayWeddings.com (who also sell invitations) have tons of verses to look through.  So do the folks at Invitation Consultants.

Once the invitations are in hand, what's the process for assembling, addressing and mailing them?  This WedAlert.com article is great!

A few quick notes on my most commonly asked etiquette questions:

• yes, many couples are skipping the inner envelope to save paper, money and keep the vibe less formal;
• yes, it's OK if you use (preferably clear) address labels rather than handwriting or hiring a calligrapher (as long as you are prepared for the backlash from the more traditional members of your guest list);
• and yes, it's OK to invite single people without a date (though if they are in a serious relationship, even if not living together, their partner should be invited).

Did I miss anything?  I hope this helps!  Have a great weekend!

In tribute to the lovely weather today and the 80 degree weather expected this weekend, I wanted to post about one of my favorite wedding visuals - crisp white (or off-white) suits.  I love it love it when all the groomsmen wear white suits.  It feels so summery and beachy to me, so classy but fun. 



Photos by Grazier Photography and Margaret Singer

But the girls are important, too, so a tribute to beautiful brides in white....let wedding season begin!



Photos by Jackie Ricciardi, Derek Goodwin, Closed Circle Photo and Gretje Ferguson

And on that note, I need to go shopping for my own wedding suit, oh my!

In honor of Sunday's expected dreary weather and a client's wedding on Sunday, I wanted to post a little tribute to umbrellas.  At one of my very first weddings, the photographer told me that he advises his clients to buy a few large golf umbrellas to ward off rain...but if it does rain, they make for some great photos...and rain is supposedly good luck.

Photo credits, top to bottom: Jacco Vink, Mim Adkins, Sweet Smile

Continuing with my thoughts on tablescapes from a post last week...

I saw some inspiration this morning from Courtney, owner of Flush Designs, a wedding and event design company in California.  You can read about her inspiration on her blog.  Black and white with pink for whimsy and romance is very popular this season.  She really nails it.  I love the stack of records and pink dinner plates contrasted with the white chargers!

Check out this beautiful tabletop she created:

First of all, why use lighting design for your wedding?  It creates a mood.  It can be virtually any color to match your theme.  It can hide ugly walls.  It creates ambiance and intimacy.  It is not very expensive anymore.  It's romantic.  It can save you money in other areas (flowers, perhaps).

I had a fantastic meeting last night with Paul, the owner of Boston Uplights.  He's really on the cutting edge of wireless lighting design.  He has a few innovations I'd like to share with you:

1) Wireless LED uplights.  He has a few different sizes to achieve a variety of lighting experiences.  But basically, these are lightweight, wireless and can easily placed around the room (and later moved if necessary).  He uses a single remote control to maneuver the color and strength of each of the wireless uplights.  It was amazing being in his studio seeing the room swiftly change color from his remote.


3) Paper lanterns.  Boston Uplights has a terrific innovative system for hanging paper lanterns in a tent or any venue that has a drop ceiling.  His system allows for swift setup (less $$) and amazing ease of adjusting the lantern heights.



These are terrific innovations for the industry.  Imagine taking a boring hotel ballroom and having candles dropping from the ceiling at varying heights.  So romantic, so intimate and warm.  And his price point is great.  The basic wireless LED system starts at $995, including staff for a night.  Because his technology is wireless and because he has intelligently thought about ways to make setup a snap, he can save clients a ton of money on the labor costs currently charged by other lighting companies, most of whom start at at least $1500.

And if the space doesn't have a drop ceiling (like our wedding venue), then we'll just have the standard uplights and the centerpiece uplights, though I'm confident Boston Uplights will think about ways to easily hang lanterns and candles from those venues in the future as well. I'll be recommending Boston Uplights to all my clients.

Like any good bride-to-be and wedding planner, I am an avid blog reader.  It's very satisfying zipping through blogs on my Google Reader while drinking my morning coffee.  I confess a guilty pleasure for Samantha Goldberg, who I'm sure you've seen on Whose Wedding is it Anyway? Sam has two blogs - but the one on the Bridal Guide is tame compared to A Day in the Life of a Wedding Planner.

Although I follow many more than this, these are my faves...

100 Layer Cake (pretty, pretty)
Hostess with the Mostess (fabulous, quirky ideas for entertaining - not just weddings)
Style Me Pretty (the ultimate wedding style blog!)
A Hot Pink Petticoat (inspiration from our neighbors to the north)
Blue Orchid Designs (I love Liene's approach to weddings and education)
Elegance & Simplicity (was eco-friendly before it was cool; love her simple design elements)
Earth Friendly Weddings (from the creators of EarthlyAffair.com)
So You're EnGAYged (the latest and greatest same-sex wedding planning site with my favorite feature - collated blogs from lesbian brides-to-be)

Favorite photo of the day - a DIY escort card project on 100 Layer Cake

Whose Wedding is it Anyway?

When planning a wedding, there are so many indulgent details to obsess over.  Jen and I have had so much fun over the past few months indulging in private, at-home wine tastings with potential wedding wines.  It's been great couple-bonding and has been a big obsession of mine (though certainly a fun obsession)!  Our wedding venue provides its own catering and wine list.  We took a look at the list, tried a few, were vaguely disappointed and decided to choose our own and have them order it.  We tried to say within the $10-15/bottle price point because the venue will mark it up 300%.  This has been a fun process...

Choosing the right wine for your wedding can be a wonderful theme-related detail.  For example, I had clients last year who had a travel-themed wedding.  Their custom-designed wedding invitations (below) were boarding passes.  Their table names were photos of places they'd been.  And so on.  The details were great, up to and including their red wine selection, Boarding Pass Shiraz, selected not only because it was thematic but also because they enjoyed the wine.

Weddings are great way to express your design philosophy!  What is your design philosophy?  Look around your home, in your closet, in your cultural background.  Since your wedding is all about celebrating you and your partner, then I urge you to have fun with a color or design theme.

Although there are other significant elements (like furniture, stationery and drapes), I think of basic wedding design in three main areas: floral; lighting; and tablescapes. 
If your wedding colors are not white or ivory, why settle for the standard white or ivory linens when you can really give your reception tables some pizazz?  It doesn't have to cost a lot of money.  Starting with the linen choices - your venue will likely provide the white or ivory but you can choose a different solid color linen (same general fabric) for about $15/table.  You can spend $60 or more per table if you choose a beautiful damask, pintuck or satin, but if you're looking to keep things simple and inexpensive, this is an easy way to go.

Table runners are very popular right now.  If you're crafty (or willing to try), I've seen some cute DIY ideas recently - these will give your table some contrast, sophistication and textural depth.  Runners can be made from discount fabrics, wallpaper or whatever your imagination will allow.  With fabric scissors, an iron and stitch witchery, you can make your tables pop.  There are also some really cute runners for sale on Etsy.com if you're looking for someone else's handmade designs!

If you have the ability to do so, beautiful tablescapes can also include crystal (instead of glass), silver flatware (instead of stainless) and interesting china. Chargers are another beautiful addition to a tablescape that can add some whimsy, elegancy or color, depending on what look you are going for.  I've even seen fun paper chargers/placemats (but I don't like to waste paper).  All of these can be rented at Be Our Guest, my favorite local source for these rental items.

Add to all this stunningly cohesive and complementary place cards and menus and you will have a gorgeous tablescape!

So, what am I doing to create beautiful tablescapes for my own wedding?  Well, our colors are navy, silver and white and our design aesthetic is contemporary (because the space is contemporary) with vintage throwback in the form of decor.

Start with the silver ballroom chairs, with white cushion.  We'll have solid navy linens and silver runners.  Add in the standard white china and glassware.  Our napkins will be navy tied with a modern, crisp silver napkin ring placed vertically across the plate.  Finally, we'll scatter a handful of crystals across the table for a little bit of opulence and shimmer.  No place cards and no menu cards (because we're doing our part to plan a green wedding).

And in another entry I'll tell you what we're doing for lighting and flowers...

I talk with a lot of brides and one of the biggest sources of angst and frustration is what do I wear to my wedding? A lot of lesbian brides don't want to wear a wedding gown. I don't.

I'd love to hear your creative solutions and sources of inspiration.

Many of my clients have had custom creations or have bought off the rack at J. Crew, Hugo Boss or Bloomingdale's. I've had brides in tunics, in saris, in white dresses (not gowns) and in other colored dresses. I've had some in black suits, some in white suits. There's no tradition here - use your imagination and allow yourself to be inspired.

(The grooms definitely have it easy on this matter. I had clients get married today in jeans, though most often they are in suits or tuxes.)

And as for me, I'm still on the fence and time is running out! What am I going to wear to my own gay wedding? My partner has her wedding dress picked out. It's currently being altered (and will then be secretly stored in her aunt's house, making its surprise debut to me on our wedding day).