Weddings Redefined

 I say it all the time - I love love love what I do.  I have the coolest job, and part of what makes it cool is the collaboration that is part of any wedding planning process.  There's the obvious collaboration between my clients and myself but it's also my goal to create a "team" with the other wedding vendors involved.

Take our last wedding, for example.  The grooms wanted their favorite restaurant to do the catering.  But that restaurant is not a caterer.  They don't have service staff with wedding experience.  They don't manage rental items.  We used that restaurant only for the food.  I worked with a rental company for every plate, every knife, every bowl (and of course the cool decor items).  I worked with another company to provide all the staffing, including the bartenders.  They sent a banquet captain, two bartenders and servers.  Then I worked with yet another company for the alcohol.  All of that was ordered and delivered.  

When it came time for the actual wedding day, I was in charge and had my assistant as my #2.  We started with a team meeting with the entire catering team and went through the entire flow of the wedding, addressed questions and discussed all of the setup needs.  We divided and conquered all the setup (as illustrated in the last post) and the end result was fantastic.  

It's my job to be the leader and to bring everyone together towards a common goal, an amazing common goal, to treat everyone with respect and empower them to do their job.  And that is so much fun, because weddings should be fun.

We planned a really great Boston gay wedding wedding last Saturday night.  Two grooms, Mark and Jody, hired us to transform a Unitarian church hall and create a really stylish, colorful and fun space.  Check out my amateur Droid phone photos below as I share the story of how the style of the space came together...


The room when we first arrived - some tables were the church's and the rental company left all the chairs stacked.  We used all rectangular tables, some 6' and some 8'. The grooms sat at a small round sweetheart table.


Another view - the room itself was really cool, a blank canvas for our design


We laid out all the tables according to the floor plan we'd pre-designed.  We took down the LOVE banner and another banner and cleared off the corner by the stage, next to the piano (it was full of 'stuff').  


We draped the tables with a violet lamour linen that captures light really well.  We placed the leather slipper chairs according to my floor plan.


The floral arrangements (two different styles on alternating tables) start to get set by Spruce Floral (they rock!) The little signs in the foreground are the table name signs, not yet distributed.


The team at work.  Place settings go down...


Teal napkins in place; drapes closed on the stage.


Candles in matching colors in place.  Menus for each table distributed.


Close up of the flocked purple mitsumata branches with green orchids (that's not paint!)


Style 2 of centerpieces - view of the full, completed table


With all of the window shades drawn, and the addition of uplights around the room

It's pretty cool, right?  Even with my amateur photos...  I can't wait to see the real ones.  It's fantastic to see the evolution of an event space, and in a space like this, almost anything is possible.  Believe it or not, I have a photo from the very next day when this room was used for a church rummage sale!

How are you planning to style your wedding?

Did you watch the Royal Wedding today?  I thought it was lovely and, despite the traditional "fairytale" event, I found some great inspirations for your gay wedding.  

I know that most people are talking about Kate and her beautiful dress but I want to talk about her hot sister, Pippa!

My lesbian brides who choose to wear a dress frequently do not wear a traditional wedding gown, but often something simpler, even from bridesmaids' collections.  Pippa, Kate's sister and Maid of Honor, wore a stunning modern, understated (white!) McQueen dress that I believe will find its way into lesbian weddings.  This dress epitomizes the essence of many gay weddings that are fantastic blends of the traditional and the very unexpected.  

For the grooms, I think it would be stunning but I don't expect to see any of my men walking down the aisle in military uniforms anytime soon!  I've had grooms in morning suits only once before, though and they looked so handsome - I'd love to see that again!  For grooms who want a very classic wedding experience, a wedding a grand old estate or mansion, this is a fantastic look.  And, wow, James Middleton is a great looking guy.


I loved how the florist, Shane Connolly, at the request of the bride and the groom, really brought the outside in for the ceremony.  The trees were not only dramatic but also reflective of the couple's personal values.    It's a beautiful aesthetic that's more than just a trend.  It has a modern, yet classic look and of course the color pop in Westminster Abbey finishes it off stunningly.  We will be using loads of greens at a very modern wedding later this year.

It's really fun for us when we are hired to make a place look much different than it did before for a couple's wedding.  I'm going to give a few examples of that in the next few posts. 

This wedding below took place at Chimney Corners summer camp in Becket, Massachusetts.  We had the camp for the entire weekend and all of the meals were held in the dining hall below.  After lunch on Saturday, we completely transformed the dining hall for the wedding reception.  

Every time we work in a space, there are some fundamental decisions that happen.  We start by deciding what, if anything in the room, needs to be covered up.  For example, are there particularly ugly walls we need to drape?  Then, we decide if the room(s) need distinct spaces like a lounge or a bar area, and if so, whether or not we need screens or drapes to create sections.  Then, we work through the flow and I create a floor plan (to scale) in our software program.

Once we make these decisions and agree on the flow of the space, we choose decor for the dinner tables.  We start with the linens, and then add each layer on top including charger plates, stemware, flatware, china, napkin (what color), menu at each place setting?, table name signs, table escort and/or place cards, and floral.  And then come the chairs, other furniture and any additional floral and decor elements (like the lighting) throughout the room.

For this summer camp wedding, you can see the results below.  When the guests arrived after the ceremony, they were treated to a dramatic transformation from the room where, just a few hours earlier, they had lunch.  I think the images also illustrate what a powerful team effort wedding production is - we literally can't do any of this without an amazing team.


Photos by Ilene Perlman.  Flowers by Jessica's Country Flowers.  Lighting by Boston Uplights.  Graphic Design by J Sherman Studio.

For the past six years, I've been tracking gay weddings, noting trends and keeping data.  In my independent analysis of nearly 200 lesbian couples, this is what they wore at their gay wedding: 

• 46% of lesbian couples wore one dress and one pants suit
• 42% of lesbian couples each wore a wedding gown (two gowns)
• 12% of lesbian couples each wore a pants suit (two suits or tuxes)

As I've mentioned before, there's definitely a trick to getting your parents exciting about your gay wedding plans.  The last tip in my series suggests giving your parents projects.  Here are some excellent projects to distract your parents that give them something to control that will keep them out of your hair:

• plan and host the rehearsal dinner/welcome reception
• plan and host a wedding shower
• organize and assemble welcome bags for out of state guests (note: parents like being hosts so these three are very effective)
• create a signature cocktail recipe
• procure and assemble wedding favors (I once had a dad make homemade wine with custom labels - each couple received a bottle on their way out)
• address and mail save the date cards and wedding invitations
• write names on escort cards
• organize guest transportation

This week's photo comes from a client's wedding back in 2004, one of my very first weddings.  The couple enlisted an army of friends to help them with DIY projects.  Each dinner table had a gorgeous hand-made red table runners (not shown).  The ceremony program was designed to be a fan - clear and utilitarian on that hot day.  The couple bought charger plates for each centerpiece at the Christmas Tree Shops and scattered some polished river rocks around the potted orchid plant (not shown). The favors were those cootie catchers from elementary school in a variety of great colors. 

All in all, a lovely tablescape, completely DIY.  I admire this in particular as a not-very crafty person myself. 



Photo by Casey McCormick

Sarah and Harold were married on Sunday, May 24 at the beautiful Veronique Ballroom in Brookline, MA.  One of my favorite things about weddings is the story of the couple and Sarah and Harold have a great story! 

For one reason or another, Sarah and Harold each found themselves "stuck" living in Nashville for a year.  They found each other online and developed a strong connection and fast friendship.  They stayed strictly as friends since they each had plans to move to opposite sides of the country.  But because love doesn't listen to reason, they fell in love, still moved, and planned their wedding from DC and Boulder.  Early next year they'll be in Boston together.  Here are some of the highlight pics from their gorgeous wedding.  Photos by Grazier Photography and video by Generations CinemaStories.  Floral design by Spruce.  Check out the video for pics of the stunning ketubah written in Hebrew, Korean and English!

This wedding was fun!  The band Beantown, kept the party going, and Sarah's mom, her sisters and cousin rocked the house with a secret, planned performance of My Guy! 


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Untitled from GENERATIONS cinemastories on Vimeo.

is the Wild Irish Rose, amended from the original recipe.  What's yours?


We had a signature cocktail tasting party last month and invited a few friends over to help us choose the perfect cocktail to serve our guests.  We weren't sure what theme to work with - the Irish theme or the color scheme (one of our colors is navy).  We ended up making and serving a bunch of god-awful tasting drinks, including some with curacao and coconut rum! Never again!  But it was a great excuse for a mini party...

We settled on the Wild Irish Rose, and tried several iterations of our own creation...try it out for yourself - you'll never taste the Jameson's.

In a cocktail shaker, combine the following over ice:
2oz Jameson's
1/2 oz grenadine
3/4 oz fresh lemon juice

Shake and serve straight up in a chilled martini glass with a sugared rim.  Delicious and pretty in pink - though that's the only pink you'll see at our wedding.

I am sometimes a bit ridiculous, so as our cocktail hour begins and these drinks are passed to our guests, the Irish band is going to perform My Wild Irish Rose.  Very likely no one will get the reference but Jen and I, but no matter.

So, what's your signature cocktail?  I'm always looking to try new cocktail recipes, especially on our deck in the summer.

I get the question all the time - how do I design my wedding?  How do we choose colors?  Themes?  Do I need a theme?  How and where do I use this theme or color scheme?  My advice - start with the paper!

Truthfully, the save the date card is often the first your guests hear of your wedding plans.  It's the first element that arrives in the mail, teasing them as to what's to come.  You might as well make it interesting...

Start with that and weave those same design elements into your invitations, your ceremony program, your dinner menu, your escort and/or place cards, your table name signs, your thank you notes and so forth.  How cool to see a seamless design throughout.  It's just classy and elegant.  And I'm a big fan of green weddings, so even if you skip the ceremony program and the menu, you can still have a cohesive design theme.

Start with the paper.  And please make it recycled and preferably FSC certified.

For a number of my clients who have wanted custom design work, I've collaborated with a local graphic designer whose work I adore and whose work ethic and values I greatly respect and admire.  We are big fans of one another and I assisted with her wedding to her adorable groom Ben last summer.  Early this year, we agreed to collaborate on custom-designed stationery for couples, so this week I opened up a Stationery Design section of my website.

Please check it out if you are looking to give your wedding personality from the very second your guests open the envelope or see that postcard arrive in the mail.

If you've had especially interesting wedding stationery, I'd love to see your examples of how your personality came through - show them off to me!