14 Stories

It's been a truly incredible year for marriage equality (and for our business!)  Here are some things we are grateful for and excited about from 2012, in no particular order:

• For the first time, a sitting US President, Barack Obama, publicly supported same-sex marriage

• Marriage equality was approved by voters in Maryland, Washington and Maine, bringing the total number of states with marriage equality to 9.  

• Voters in Minnesota defeated an anti-gay marriage bill the very same night!

• Several well known celebrities came out!  Thanks to Anderson Cooper, Matt Bomer, Jim Parsons, Zachary Quinto, Frank Ocean and Lana Wachowski, among others, for bravely coming out and letting LGBT youth know that they are not alone.  

• Congrats to actress Cynthia Nixon, MSBNC Anchor Thomas Roberts and Good Morning America weatherman Sam Champion for marrying their partners in 2012.

• Our business worked with 34 same-sex couples from all over the world on their wedding plans!  The couple who traveled the farthest was from Australia!

• The Gay Wedding Institute had over 250 wedding professionals from all over the world (including our first from Italy, Aruba and Ireland!) complete the Gay Wedding Institute certification course.  Check out the grads here!

• We successfully moved a wedding from one venue to another as a result of Hurricane Sandy...check out that story here.

• I signed a deal for write my second book - coming this spring!

• We launched a clothing line for lesbian, queer and trans weddings.  If you haven't already done so, check out Fourteen!

And that's just the beginning...as always, we have big goals and resolutions for 2013...it will no doubt be another exciting year for 14 Stories and for marriage equality.  Stick with us to see where we go next!

Lots of love,

Bernadette, Jen, Andrew, Janet, Victoria

It's engagement season - and if you are planning your gay wedding in the New York City area and looking for some expert advice, you are in luck!  I'm participating in a couple of panel discussions soon as well as leading a solo workshop. All of these are designed to empower you to plan yourself a great gay wedding!

Here are the details:

Thursday, February 9, 6:30pm (solo presentation)

• Sponsored by MENY - click here to register
• LGBT Center, Manhattan

Sunday, February 12, 11am (panel discussion)

• WilliamsBrides event (excuse the non-inclusive name - it will be an inclusive event)
• Williamsburg, Brooklyn 

Saturday, March 17, time TBD (panel discussion)

• The Original LGBT Expo
• Javits Center, Manhattan

Please stop by and say hi at any of these events!  I would love to chat with you there and answer any planning questions you may have!

If you're in New York City on October 20, please join me at the Learning Annex for my Weddings Redefined workshop on gay wedding planning!

In this class, I'll discuss the nuts and bolts of wedding planning, reinforcing the concept that your wedding is uniquely yours, with your vision, your personality and your own traditions. 

You’ll learn: 

• Money saving tips 
• Timeline for top priorities – venue, officiant, save the dates & money saving tips 
• Budget 
• How to personalize your wedding 
• Gay Wedding Traditions 
• And more! 

This highly interactive workshop and Q&A with the experts will leave you with the confidence and tools to plan your own same-sex wedding.

You can sign up for the workshop right here!

When I was a freshman in college at Boston University, I got an internship at WBUR, our local, Boston-area National Public Radio station.  It was so exciting being there, in the world of media and news and I loved every second behind the scenes.

The internship lasted a semester and I moved on and that was the end of that.

And then a few years post college, before this whole gay wedding planning business came about, I was really struggling with what to do with my life, just like many mid-twenty-somethings.  I was an avid listener of Car Talk and was once on the show with my own car-related question, "I'm good with my hands.  Should I be a mechanic when I grow up?"  I think we all know the answer to that one, but it was fun to be on the radio nonetheless.

Fast forward eight or nine years and here I am, a gay wedding planner, loving every minute of it, and NPR calls me to do an interview on music at gay weddings.  Of course!!  If there's anything I know something about, it's gay weddings and music is one of my favorite subjects.  And I love that so much of the music I hear at my clients' gay weddings is the same music that I was personally dancing to at clubs when I was newly out.  

So, without further ado, here's the interview for your listening - my thoughts on gay wedding music!

What kind of music is being played at your wedding?  Are you sticking with traditional wedding songs or going a more contemporary, pop route?

I'm in Phoenix this week at a conference called The Special Event Show.  I led a workshop this morning called "Traditionally, at a Gay Wedding..."  When I lead these workshops, my goal is to help people in the wedding industry around the country learn about gay culture and gay weddings so that LGBT couples have an easier time with their planning, no matter where they are.  

I think for couples, too, it's good news.  I've trained 200+ vendors in the year or so I've been leading these workshops and these vendors are super excited to work with LGBT couples.  Their enthusiasm gives me a lot of hope that the wedding industry will stop being so "bride" focused in the years to come...

Anyway, already this year there's been marriage equality legislation introduced in Rhode Island and Maryland, and because of the political shifts that occurred in those states during the last election, there's a really great chance gay marriage will come to Rhode Island and Maryland.  Also, it appears that civil unions will come to Illinois (the governor promises to sign that bill next week) and we may even see some marriage equality in New York before the year is out.  Will 14 Stories plan your gay wedding in Newport?  Heck yes, we'll be your Newport gay wedding planner.  They have the most amazing ocean-side venues.

My wife Jen is from Maryland's Eastern Shore and I have clients who are actually moving there later this year.  I can't wait to plan my first wedding in Maryland (Jen would LOVE that!) so 14 Stories will totally be your Maryland gay wedding planner!

We have big plans for 14 Stories this year (our SEVENTH year in business!), and if marriage equality does in fact come to New York, you can bet we'll be there to plan those gay weddings as well.  It's my home state.  We'd never miss that opportunity.

I know the best is yet to come for LGBT couples and you can count on us to be there every step of the way.

Where are you planning to get married?

If you are engaged and gay, and overwhelmed with your gay wedding planning process, please join us for our Weddings Redefined workshop.

Heterosexism - a term that applies to negative attitudes, bias, and discrimination in favor of opposite-sex sexuality and relationships. It can include the presumption that everyone is heterosexual or that opposite-sex attractions and relationships are the norm and therefore superior.
as defined by Wikipedia

I see it all the time and most of the time it happens by accident, simply without thinking of ones' readers.  I completely understand but...keep in mind that gay marriage is likely to pass in DC and NY soon and your clientele may be changing.  If you want to reach the gay wedding market, you will need to change as well.

Some recent examples:

• Twitter tweet from a respected magazine:  Are you and your hubby swapping gifts on the big day? What are you giving him?  This tweet assumes that the reader is female and marrying a man - which is often the case with heterosexist remarks.
• Another from a blast email from a very nice vendor I know (forwarded to me by a client who noticed and was put off):  "We applaud her innovation and would like to help other brides do this if they want to surprise their (brand new!) husbands." 
• And a final example for the day taken from a photographer's website (which could have been any number of a thousand photographers): "We will capture every moment from your first kiss to your first dance as husband and wife."

I'll be speaking on heterosexism and other gay wedding themes at The Special Event in New Orleans in January.

Have you seen any noteworthy examples of heterosexism?  Or do you have materials that can be updated?

I'm very pleased to let you all know that I'm speaking on the subject of gay weddings at a couple of awesome upcoming wedding industry events.  The goal of these presentations is to educate wedding industry vendors on how to work with gay and lesbian couples without making assumptions on their needs and lifestyles.

1.  Maximize Your Brand in New York City, October 19-20

2.  The Special Event in New Orleans, January 12-15

Registration is now open for both events, and you have the opportunity to not only hear me but also other truly visionary leaders in the wedding industry such as Harmony Walton from the Bridal Bar, Abby Larson from Style Me Pretty and Linnyette Richardson-Hall from Whose Wedding is it Anyway?

I admit that I'm super honored to be speaking at the same event as these fabulous folks and can't wait to meet them in person.

Jen will be with me at both events and is co-presenting in New Orleans!