Weddings Redefined

According to this article from TheHill.com, we should be seeing a lot of dialogue from Congress this year around gay rights issues.  Congress is supposed to take up the following issues:

• Hate crimes legislation
• Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA)
• Domestic partnership benefits for federal employees
• The elimination of Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act

This could be a very exciting year!  Be sure to be in touch with your Senator and Congressperson to show your support.

Breaking same-sex marriage news.  Vermont Senate votes in favor of gay marriage!

Good news for Vermont.  Momentum is up and a joint legislative committee today voted 5-0 to legalize same-sex marriage.  The bill goes before the full Senate this week.

Vermont was the first state to implement the separate but unequal civil unions back in 2000.  At the time, that was a big deal for same-sex couples but with marriage equality coming to other states (Massachusetts and Connecticut) and countries (Canada, Spain, Netherlands and more) since then, civil unions are looking more and more unequal.

This is a good time to mention GLAD's New England Marriage Campaign. These wonderful folks who brought same-sex marriage to Massachusetts and Connecticut have the goal of bringing it to every state in New England by 2012.  With bills in the pipeline in Vermont and Maine, and with same-sex marriage recognized by the state of Rhode Island, the region is already moving forward with this goal.

It's an exciting time to be a New Englander.

Favorite photo of today from the great husband-wife photographers at Grazier Photography (can't wait to work with them in May):

Like millions of others, the day after the nation elected Obama last November, I was heartbroken to hear that California voters chose against marriage equality when they narrowly passed ballot initiative Proposition 8.  18,000 same-sex couples (including Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi) in California married between June-November 2008 and those marriages are in limbo.
As most of you know, lawyers mounted a challenge to the vote which was heard yesterday before the California Supreme Court.  The analysts are saying that it's likely the Court will uphold Prop 8 but those 18,000 couples will likely get to stay married.

My friends Jen and Marne are on my mind (they married the day before election day last year) and I encourage everyone to show support for marriage equality in California.

This is exciting news. Today GLAD, New England's nonprofit legal rights organization, filed a lawsuit challenging the federal DOMA law.

DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) is the law signed by President Clinton that allows the federal government and individual states to not recognize same-sex marriage performed in states that allow it. DOMA is the reason that married same-sex couples in Massachusetts and Connecticut can't file joint federal tax returns. DOMA is the reason that if you fall in love with someone from overseas, that person won't get a green card if you marry in Massachusetts or Connecticut. DOMA is the reason that most out-of-state couples who marry in Massachusetts find that marriage invalid when they return to their home state (with some exceptions: NY, NM, RI included).

DOMA is a terrible, discriminatory law - so this challenge by GLAD is a big deal. In 2004-2005, I spent a year and a half as a volunteer on the GLAD hotline. Every Friday afternoon from 1-4:30, I'd answer calls, letters and emails from people who felt discriminated against. It was a powerful experience and GLAD remains one of my favorite charities to support.

GLAD takes a very thoughtful approach to its challenges and as such, is challenging only the parts of DOMA that unfairly discriminate against residents of Massachusetts (not the parts that affect non-residents and could be dismissed on the basis of federalism). This is why the plaintiffs are, as examples: widowers not eligible for survivor benefits; bi-national couples not receiving the same immigration treatment; and couples paying thousands extra for health insurance because if one is a federal employee, the couple is not eligible for joint marriage coverage.

I'll be following this challenge closely! This is very exciting news indeed. By the way, if you want to support GLAD, they accept donations.

Want to know about your legal protections in your state for same-sex couples? Check this out:
HRC releases comprehensive state by state legislative report.

Could Iowa be next? Their State Supreme Court is set to rule on a case soon.

Seems like every time there's good news, there's another statewide ban. Wyoming may be the next to add a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.

This is my first purely professional blog post - that is, a post about my company, It's About Time. I often have a lot to say so hopefully this will come easily. I will start at the beginning of the story of how I became a gay wedding planner and will proceed chronologically - but probably interject current stuff as well as stories of my own wedding planning, in between.

Five years and two months ago, on November 18, 2003, I was in my car driving towards the Forest Hills T stop, listening to NPR. There was a news bulletin about a forthcoming ruling later that day on the Goodridge v. the Massachusetts Department of Public Health case to remove the state's ban on same-sex marriage. At the time, I was three days removed from a Caribbean holiday with my girlfriend of three years (and a few weeks away from ending that relationship, but that's another story...), and tightly gripped the wheel in excitement.

I went to the office and glued myself to Boston.com and GLAD.org, waiting for the verdict to come. Sometime around 11am, in my cramped little office with a view of a brick wall, I heard the news that the state may not "deny the protections, benefits and obligations conferred by civil marriage to two individuals of the same sex who wish to marry." The verdict indicated that these marriages could take effect in six months, on May 18, 2004.

My job (that I mostly disliked) in downtown Boston was a few blocks from the State House. There were almost daily rallies in support of or opposed to gay marriage because, within that six month period, those who opposed gay marriage tried in vain to preemptively ban it through a Constitutional amendment. I would frequently take long "lunches" to attend these rallies, listening to moving stories from former Senator Dianne Wilkerson, Rep. Byron Rushing and other leaders, standing alongside couples together twenty or thirty years, hoping they can one day marry.

I was inspired. And I didn't like my job. And I knew I was good at event planning, frequently called "calm." Somehow I had the bright idea that I should start a gay wedding planning firm. It was honestly a "light bulb" moment. And those who know me well know that when I get fixated on an idea, I make it happen.

So, I recruited a business partner who knew a thing or two about weddings, bought an ebook on how to plan a wedding, did lots of online research on venues and questions to ask vendors. My business partner got us a logo. I got us a website and immediately set up Google Adwords, and miraculously, by March or so, I was the co-owner of a business called It's About Time.

On May 17, 2004, at midnight, the City of Cambridge, Massachusetts became the first city in the first state in the entire United States to issue legal marriage licenses to gay couples. And that is the primary reason that, to this day, I frequently take my clients to Cambridge to get their very own.

In that time, there was a constitutional amendment approved by the Massachusetts legislature, one that would ban gay marriages and create civil unions. Fortunately for us here in Massachusetts, it's not easy to change the state constitution, and for complicated political reasons I'm not going to get into here, the constitution remained exactly the same.