Weddings Redefined

My heart truly breaks for marriage equality today. California's Supreme Court upheld the Prop 8 ban on same-sex marriage, though allowed the 18,000 marriages that already took place to stay valid.  I have a few friends who had City Hall weddings in California last year, and I am glad their marriage still works, but for the others who never got that far, I am so sorry.  And I hope that you do something about it by volunteering with, donating to or otherwise supporting Equality California.  Marc Solomon and Amy Mello, formerly of the MassEquality team who preserved gay marriage in Massachusetts are now working in California to restore gay marriage - they are geniuses but they need tons of grassroots support.

I blogged all about Prop 8 a few months ago so be sure to check that post.

Protests are happening tonight.  I wish I was there.  In my heart tonight are my dear friends Jen and Marne who married the day before last Election Day in California, and who are having a public ceremony with friends and family this Saturday.

This morning I met a charming lesbian couple from Georgia at their hotel and had them married by early afternoon.  Turns out while I was busy with the girls, the governor of Maine was holding a press conference announcing his signing of a bill legalizing gay marriage in Maine.

And later this afternoon, the New Hampshire House signed a bill legalizing gay marriage there!  Since the Senate already signed the bill, it now goes to the Governor and we don't know what to expect from him.

And yesterday the Washington DC Council voted to recognize gay weddings performed legally in other states.  DC residents, come here to New England!

Seriously, all this news is making me dizzy with excitement, with business ideas, and with more and more energy and momentum.  It's such a dynamic time in history.  Five years from when gay marriage came to Massachusetts and from when my business began, the tides have turned and three states have legalized gay marriage within the past two months. 

My business and my clients continue to inspire me.  I truly am blessed to have stumbled into a career that has become a vocation and my heart (next to Jen, that is...) 

Congratulations to the residents of Maine who now have marriage equality.  Thank you to EqualityMaine, the Maine Civil Liberties Union and the Maine Women's Lobby for all you did to make this possible.  Thank you to the Washington DC Council and the New Hampshire Freedom to Marry Coalition.  New Hampshire residents, call your governor and show your support for marriage equality!

And on a purely playful note, how fun will it be to plan legal gay weddings in Ogunquit, Maine!  Just 90 minutes from Boston, it's a great gay escape and I am completely giddy by the possibilities.

The Iowa Supreme Court just ruled that marriage is no longer between one man and one woman.  How cool is that?  Go Iowa!  Go marriage equality!

Now that gay marriage has passed thru the House and the Senate in Vermont, all it needs is the Governor's signature.  But it looks like he's going to veto -

let's hope that Vermont legislators pull together enough votes for an override!

This is an exciting time to be a same-sex couple. The tides are turning and the dominoes are falling!

According to this article from TheHill.com, we should be seeing a lot of dialogue from Congress this year around gay rights issues.  Congress is supposed to take up the following issues:

• Hate crimes legislation
• Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA)
• Domestic partnership benefits for federal employees
• The elimination of Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act

This could be a very exciting year!  Be sure to be in touch with your Senator and Congressperson to show your support.

Breaking same-sex marriage news.  Vermont Senate votes in favor of gay marriage!

Good news for Vermont.  Momentum is up and a joint legislative committee today voted 5-0 to legalize same-sex marriage.  The bill goes before the full Senate this week.

Vermont was the first state to implement the separate but unequal civil unions back in 2000.  At the time, that was a big deal for same-sex couples but with marriage equality coming to other states (Massachusetts and Connecticut) and countries (Canada, Spain, Netherlands and more) since then, civil unions are looking more and more unequal.

This is a good time to mention GLAD's New England Marriage Campaign. These wonderful folks who brought same-sex marriage to Massachusetts and Connecticut have the goal of bringing it to every state in New England by 2012.  With bills in the pipeline in Vermont and Maine, and with same-sex marriage recognized by the state of Rhode Island, the region is already moving forward with this goal.

It's an exciting time to be a New Englander.

Favorite photo of today from the great husband-wife photographers at Grazier Photography (can't wait to work with them in May):

Like millions of others, the day after the nation elected Obama last November, I was heartbroken to hear that California voters chose against marriage equality when they narrowly passed ballot initiative Proposition 8.  18,000 same-sex couples (including Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi) in California married between June-November 2008 and those marriages are in limbo.
As most of you know, lawyers mounted a challenge to the vote which was heard yesterday before the California Supreme Court.  The analysts are saying that it's likely the Court will uphold Prop 8 but those 18,000 couples will likely get to stay married.

My friends Jen and Marne are on my mind (they married the day before election day last year) and I encourage everyone to show support for marriage equality in California.

This is exciting news. Today GLAD, New England's nonprofit legal rights organization, filed a lawsuit challenging the federal DOMA law.

DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) is the law signed by President Clinton that allows the federal government and individual states to not recognize same-sex marriage performed in states that allow it. DOMA is the reason that married same-sex couples in Massachusetts and Connecticut can't file joint federal tax returns. DOMA is the reason that if you fall in love with someone from overseas, that person won't get a green card if you marry in Massachusetts or Connecticut. DOMA is the reason that most out-of-state couples who marry in Massachusetts find that marriage invalid when they return to their home state (with some exceptions: NY, NM, RI included).

DOMA is a terrible, discriminatory law - so this challenge by GLAD is a big deal. In 2004-2005, I spent a year and a half as a volunteer on the GLAD hotline. Every Friday afternoon from 1-4:30, I'd answer calls, letters and emails from people who felt discriminated against. It was a powerful experience and GLAD remains one of my favorite charities to support.

GLAD takes a very thoughtful approach to its challenges and as such, is challenging only the parts of DOMA that unfairly discriminate against residents of Massachusetts (not the parts that affect non-residents and could be dismissed on the basis of federalism). This is why the plaintiffs are, as examples: widowers not eligible for survivor benefits; bi-national couples not receiving the same immigration treatment; and couples paying thousands extra for health insurance because if one is a federal employee, the couple is not eligible for joint marriage coverage.

I'll be following this challenge closely! This is very exciting news indeed. By the way, if you want to support GLAD, they accept donations.

Have you heard of these white knots to show support for marriage equality for same-sex couples? I feel like I've been living under a rock to have never heard of them, but apparently lots of people will be wearing them at the Oscars. Check out WhiteKnot.org.

We are having some friends over to watch the Oscars so perhaps I'll buy some white knot making supplies to add to the festivities.

My parents were both born in Ireland and thus, I have Irish citizenship. A few years ago, I jumped through all kinds of hoops to finally obtain my Irish passport, bringing closer a dream I've had for years of someday living in the motherland for awhile. I have been to Ireland about six times and I love it!

Check out this story: Irish Gay Marriage Activists Plan Valentine's Day Carnival.

A civil partnership bill will be brought before the Irish legislature this spring, though it appears that full-on marriage is out of the question.