Weddings Redefined

It's engagement season - and if you are planning your gay wedding in the New York City area and looking for some expert advice, you are in luck!  I'm participating in a couple of panel discussions soon as well as leading a solo workshop. All of these are designed to empower you to plan yourself a great gay wedding!

Here are the details:

Thursday, February 9, 6:30pm (solo presentation)

• Sponsored by MENY - click here to register
• LGBT Center, Manhattan

Sunday, February 12, 11am (panel discussion)

• WilliamsBrides event (excuse the non-inclusive name - it will be an inclusive event)
• Williamsburg, Brooklyn 

Saturday, March 17, time TBD (panel discussion)

• The Original LGBT Expo
• Javits Center, Manhattan

Please stop by and say hi at any of these events!  I would love to chat with you there and answer any planning questions you may have!

This was a fantastic and successful year for 14 Stories and for marriage equality – thank you for all of your support and belief in what we do!  We absolutely adore our clients and believe more than ever in the power of their stories to change the world.  So without further ado, here are 14 highlights from 2011, in no particular order:

1.  We worked with 34 couples from 21 different states, producing beautiful weddings as small as zero guests to as many as 250.  Congratulations to you all!  We are grateful for your business and thrilled to have you as part of our 14 Stories family.

2.  I traveled around the world to train wedding professionals all about gay weddings.  I spoke to enthusiastic groups in Baltimore, Cancun, Phoenix, Vermont and Chicago!   This is part of our mission to promote marriage equality and reduce homophobia in the wedding industry.

3.  Along with that, this spring we launched the world’s first Gay Wedding Institute certificate course for those in the wedding industry looking to be more inclusive of same-sex couples and sensitive to their wedding planning needs.  This intensive course (with homework!) was launched as a webinar and held 3 times in 2011 with great feedback and participants from the U.S., Canada and Mexico.

4.  We launched the country's first app for gay wedding planning.  Our Gay Wedding Confidential app is available for a free download from iTunes and Android (but works better on iTunes!)

5.  Marriage equality came to my home state of New York on June 24 and we were there, on Pride, that weekend to celebrate!  Being a part of Pride the weekend of marriage equality was pretty incredible. 

6.  Civil unions became legal in Illinois, Rhode Island and as of next week, in Delaware and Hawaii.  Same-sex couples in those states can now have statewide protections for their families.

7.  The press we received in 2011 was pretty amazing!  We were featured on the Today show, on BBC, on NY1, NPR (twice) and in countless print publications including this amazing article on the front page of the L.A. Times.

8.  We signed a contract with a prolific and prestigious production company to develop and produce a gay wedding planning reality TV show….let us know if you want to be on TV!

9.  We hired another wedding planner!  Andrew is the first person on our team to plan weddings (besides me) and is fabulous, charming and talented.  You can read more about Andrew on our About Us page.

10.  I was invited to be a blogger for the prestigious Huffington Post and the feedback on my articles has been great.  If you’ve missed them, check them out here!

11.  I went to the Engage! wedding industry summit twice (once in San Diego and the other in the Cayman Islands) and connected with my peers from the wedding industry from around the world. 

12.  We opened our New York office in July and moved our family to New York in September.  New Yorkers have welcomed us with open arms and things are going very well here!

13.  One of our weddings appeared in the nationally distributed Destination Weddings magazine.  Check out Deb and Michelle's story here!

14.  Don't Ask, Don't Tell was repealed.  How amazing to see this discriminatory law go away and have our LGBT brothers and sisters be able to serve openly (and get married in uniform)!  What a huge moment in our civil rights history.

I hope that the new year brings you and your family great happiness and success - and cheers to the hope of more marriage equality!  

This is the first part in a new series every Monday for the next few weeks. Each week we'll be spotlighting an area where same-sex marriage is legal and providing you with some great travel tips and our picks for top same-sex wedding professionals.

This week, it's New York City, the most popular LGBT tourist destination in the U.S. New York has it all. The world's best shopping and finest restaurants, beautiful green space and tons of venues with spectacular views.  

Where to Stay: Start with Kimpton Hotels (our fave when we travel).  Kimpton properties are known for their gay and dog-friendliness, their evening wine hour and contemporary aesthetics. Our personal favorite is Ink 48, located in the heart of Hell’s Kitchen and featuring a beautiful outdoor terrace. If you’re headed downtown, the Ritz Carlton Battery Park is a stunning option with its amazing views of the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. The Ritz is the only 5 star hotel in downtown New York. 

What to Do: Where to start?! Stroll the boutiques and galleries of Soho. Walk the High Line. Dig into the wares at Chelsea Market. Sip coffee in the West Village. Check out one of the hundreds of museums. Hit the clubs in Hells Kitchen and Chelsea. Hold hands on a stroll through Central Park. You’ll never get bored. 

How to Get Married: Head down to City Hall in lower Manhattan during normal business hours and spend $35 on a marriage license. It will be valid 24 hours after you receive it and then you can legally married by a licensed officiant. More details are here. 

Our Picks for LGBT Photographers: Kat Hempel and Erica Beckman’s Clean Plate Pictures are fun and fabulous! 

Our Picks for LGBT-owned Florists: Spruce in Chelsea rocks the clean, modern look. Fleurs NYC and Anthony Brownie (both in the Flower District) are our picks for bigger weddings (note: neither have retail space) 

Our Picks for LGBT Officiants: Rev. Louis is an absolute sweetheart. And our own Rev. Andrew is top-notch!

New York's wedding vendors are, by and large, very welcoming of same-sex couples so you should have a great experience no matter who you choose.  Don't forget about us if you get stuck and are looking for a hand with all of your gay wedding plans in New York!

I have new clients for whom I'm planning a 200+ guest gay wedding on Fire Island in the Pines.  Gay wedding planning on Fire Island requires a mastery of logistics - there are very few resources on the island itself - and most cars (except for the essentials and year-round residents) are not allowed.  We'll have to charter a boat and ship in every table, every chair, light and sound equipment, caterer's equipment, furniture, etc. - but fortunately I have experience with such challenges.

Another consideration for Fire Island is that there are about 700 houses but no real working hotel (yet...there's a small one that is being renovated and promises to be beautifully done and open for 2012).  So, we'll have to reserve a bunch of these houses (many of which are vacation rentals) for wedding guests.  And the only wedding-appropriate structure for a large wedding upwards of 200 guests is Whyte Hall, some photos of which I took below.  Fortunately, Whyte Hall is a fantastic space.

I'm really excited about my new clients and planning a gay wedding in the Fire Island Pines.  Check out the photos below for some inspiration:

the path from the beach to Whyte Hall from the ocean side

Whyte Hall, interior (stage)

Whyte Hall interior

Whyte Hall exterior

Whyte Hall exterior

the ceremony location on the beach

We are very proud to offer friends of 14 Stories a special discount to the upcoming off-Broadway production  Standing On Ceremony:  The Gay Marriage Plays, which opens on November 13 in New York.  The show previously had a very successful run in L.A.

Standing On Ceremony is a series of short plays written by legendary playwrights such as Neil LaBute, Mo Gaffney and Paul Rudnick.  During opening night, the play will be simulcast to 40 cinemas throughout the U.S. A portion of ticket sales for every show will be donated to Freedom to Marry and other  marriage equality organizations. 

Jen and I will definitely be going and I hope you check it out!  To purchase tickets at the discounted rate of $49 (down from $79) use code PLAY49 at Ticketmaster or when you call 800-982-2787.

As you know, I believe that stories change the world....and the stories heard during this play are sure to make an impact!

You'll have to check out my latest Huffington Post blog to find out...

Image from Gay Ever After at the Sarah Jassir Bridal Market show

Over the summer we agreed to provide expert wedding planning advice to same-sex couples being profiled by New York magazine.  I was given a lesbian couple, told their story and their scenario for a beach wedding next fall and asked to provide advice as if they were actual clients.  I gave them the full scoop which included some tough love, unfortunately!  Based on their wedding budget, $15,000, and their vision, I suggested they chop their guest list in half...check out the article and see what they thought of my advice.

If you're in New York City on October 20, please join me at the Learning Annex for my Weddings Redefined workshop on gay wedding planning!

In this class, I'll discuss the nuts and bolts of wedding planning, reinforcing the concept that your wedding is uniquely yours, with your vision, your personality and your own traditions. 

You’ll learn: 

• Money saving tips 
• Timeline for top priorities – venue, officiant, save the dates & money saving tips 
• Budget 
• How to personalize your wedding 
• Gay Wedding Traditions 
• And more! 

This highly interactive workshop and Q&A with the experts will leave you with the confidence and tools to plan your own same-sex wedding.

You can sign up for the workshop right here!

The couple just sued the inn, because they learned that Vermont has an anti-discrimination law making it illegal to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation. 21 U.S. states have such a law and 29 do not.  That means that in states such as Georgia, Florida and Texas, it's perfectly legal for a business to discriminate against you of sexual orientation and/or gender identity.  To find out the deal in your state, click here or call the Lambda Legal help desk.

Why should you care? Well, you may be gay wedding planning in New York or elsewhere and it's important to know your rights.  A New York town clerk already resigned rather than issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.  The law in New York barely passed.  And while New York City is very progressive and great for gay wedding planning, it's a BIG state and you should be careful when you're planning your gay wedding. 

Come out of the closet right away when calling vendors - even the ones you find through an online gay wedding directory or through google ads. You never know who will answer the phone.  Only hire people who give you a good vibe, who you feel like will have your back.  There's no reason that you should be treated any differently than straight couples.  

Have you encountered any issues when calling vendors during your wedding planning?

At 14 Stories, we're not just in the business of wedding planning - but we like to provide our clients with resources to build and protect their family.  Last year we did a blog series about estate planning, written by our former client Claire DeMarco, who is an estate planning attorney in Boston.  Claire did all of the paperwork to protect the Coveney-Smith family.

Now that same-sex marriage is legal in New York, I think it's time to revisit this important topic.  Ron Meyers will be the attorney to whom we refer our New York gay wedding clients.  Ron has been helping LGBT couples protect their families for more than 10 years.

Here are the top five ways to protect your LGBT family:

1.  Health Care Proxies - so you can visit your spouse or partner in the hospital when you are in a state where same-sex marriage is not recognized.

2.  Durable Power of Attorney - so you can make decisions on behalf of your partner or spouse beyond state lines when you are in a state where same-sex marriage is not recognized.

3. Wills - to define your family and protect your assets should one of you pass

4.  Trusts - used as an alternative to a will, so your estate can be handled privately, rather than in court, should one of you pass and have family who does not support your same-sex marriage or relationship.

5. Second parent adoption - if you have a child, so both parents have legal guardianship to the child or children if you are in a state where same-sex marriage is not recognized.  

Both Claire and Ron can help with all of these five ways to protect your family and I enthusiastically encourage you to give them a call!

Photo by Gretje Ferguson