14 Stories

We were thrilled to be asked by Next Magazine to give the rundown of some amazing locations in New York City for gay weddings.  Gay wedding planning in New York is super fun in the right venue...check out this article to read more about my top picks.

PS - one of our clients was in the same issue, for the engagement story.  Read about Brian and Toby's engagement here.

Some of you many know that I provide consulting to those in the worldwide wedding industry about same-sex weddings with a goal of creating a much more inclusive industry.  As part of that, I work with some companies on this goal.

I'm proud to introduce GayDestinationWeddings.com.  Last summer, DestinationWeddings.com hired me to consult on the launch of GayDestinationWeddings.com, a wedding and honeymoon travel website.  In addition to consulting, I also trained about 65 of their sales agents, located all around the U.S. and Canada.  These agents work directly with same-sex couples on their wedding plans.  

What I appreciate about this new site is how it was so thoughtfully created and elegantly done, a fantastic example of how to appeal the gay and lesbian market and be advocates for gay and lesbian clients.  These Gay Wedding Institute certified sales agents are only referring couples to the G list, a carefully tailored and vetted list of LGBT-welcoming resorts.  

14 Stories has been around for 9 years now and it's so awesome to see the wedding industry evolve to include us!

I grew up Catholic, and I'll never forget what happened the first time I went to Mass after I came out. I was home from college for Thanksgiving and the priest stood at the front of the church and told the parishioners not to let their children attend an upcoming workshop on HIV prevention put on by the high school because it "condoned homosexuality." I walked out and never went back (except for some weddings and funerals), and it's been nearly 20 years. 

Unfortunately little has since changed with the Catholics. Many people see the Episcopal Church as the closest thing there is to the Catholic Church. Which is why their increasingly progressive stance on same-sex marriage gives me hope. This week, the National Cathedral in Washington D.C. announced that same-sex marriage ceremonies could be performed there. The National Cathedral is the second largest Cathedral in the country and dubbed by Congress as the "National House of Prayer." It's a symbol of Christian faith in America. And now it lets the gays marry. 

 If that's not a step towards equality, I don't know what is. What a year it's been. 

I have worked with hundreds of same-sex couples, many of whom, like me, are "recovering Catholics." We all seem to have some baggage. There's something so powerful about the rituals we grew up with, the Sunday rituals where we know when to sit, when to stand, what to recite, what to sing. And when rejected by that institution, it's a little bit debilitating for many of us. I've planned very very few same-sex weddings in churches, but those are absolutely amongst the most emotional ones for me. 

I'm hopeful this move by the National Cathedral will cause many other dioceses to follow suit. The Episcopal Church has become increasingly progressive in the U.S. and is the largest U.S. denomination to support same-sex marriage. We all know Bishop Robinson was named the first openly gay Bishop of an Episcopal diocese in the U.S. when he was named New Hampshire Bishop in 2003. Several other dioceses in New England have permitted same-sex marriage for a few years now. And last year, the Church itself said that priests could bless same-sex relationships - not the same as marriage but we'll take it. 

 But until this week, the National Cathedral remained silent. But when they spoke, they spoke with eloquence and inspiration, "We enthusiastically affirm each person as a beloved child of God--and doing so means including the full participation of gays and lesbians in the life of this spiritual home for the nation." Amen to that.

Scott and Todd are always in motion.  With one house in New York but living between Atlanta and Chicago, our time together was limited so we packed their trips to New York City full of meetings to plan their big NYC gay wedding.  They chose to get married at the Ritz-Carlton Battery Park because years ago when they first started dating, they had a memorable date at its former Rise bar.  The Ritz is a beautiful property with stunning views of the Statue of Liberty.  The ballroom is versatile and fun but we sought to transform it from a hotel ballroom into something truly special.

We started with a theme (New York City) and colors (yellow and purple, each of their moms favorite colors).  We brought in a lighting designer/AV company who projected images during dinner which made guests feel like they were staring out at city lights.  The designer also lit the dinner tables and added beautiful projections and purple uplights.  The beautiful flowers totally popped on the tables!

This New York City same-sex wedding was very special and a first for us because they had a Video Jockey!  Our AV company set up giant screens and speakers while the VJ mixed music videos live for the guests.  Throughout the night, photos of earlier in the wedding rotated in.  

Enjoy the beautiful photos by Katje Hempel.  Floral by Fleurs.  Lighting by Kayne LIVE.  Entertainment by Wendy Kidd Entertainment. Stationery by Bella Figura.  Photobooth by Fifth Avenue Digital.  Cake by Cake Alchemy.

It's been a truly incredible year for marriage equality (and for our business!)  Here are some things we are grateful for and excited about from 2012, in no particular order:

• For the first time, a sitting US President, Barack Obama, publicly supported same-sex marriage

• Marriage equality was approved by voters in Maryland, Washington and Maine, bringing the total number of states with marriage equality to 9.  

• Voters in Minnesota defeated an anti-gay marriage bill the very same night!

• Several well known celebrities came out!  Thanks to Anderson Cooper, Matt Bomer, Jim Parsons, Zachary Quinto, Frank Ocean and Lana Wachowski, among others, for bravely coming out and letting LGBT youth know that they are not alone.  

• Congrats to actress Cynthia Nixon, MSBNC Anchor Thomas Roberts and Good Morning America weatherman Sam Champion for marrying their partners in 2012.

• Our business worked with 34 same-sex couples from all over the world on their wedding plans!  The couple who traveled the farthest was from Australia!

• The Gay Wedding Institute had over 250 wedding professionals from all over the world (including our first from Italy, Aruba and Ireland!) complete the Gay Wedding Institute certification course.  Check out the grads here!

• We successfully moved a wedding from one venue to another as a result of Hurricane Sandy...check out that story here.

• I signed a deal for write my second book - coming this spring!

• We launched a clothing line for lesbian, queer and trans weddings.  If you haven't already done so, check out Fourteen!

And that's just the beginning...as always, we have big goals and resolutions for 2013...it will no doubt be another exciting year for 14 Stories and for marriage equality.  Stick with us to see where we go next!

Lots of love,

Bernadette, Jen, Andrew, Janet, Victoria

The week of Hurricane Sandy was one of my most professionally challenging weeks.  We had worked very hard for six months on an extraordinary New York City gay wedding for two amazing men, Jason and Dimitri.  We were in the home stretch, the last week of the wedding, when we all heard that Hurricane Sandy was going to be serious business.

I'm generally a pretty optimistic person so I was confident that the hurricane wouldn't impact our wedding, set to be on the 14th and 21st floor of the Chelsea Arts Tower, in a beautiful space called Glass Houses.  But like many people, I was surprised by the magnitude of Sandy's impact.  Glass Houses was fine, except for some flooding in the basement, but what we learned on Tuesday was that the power was out.  With a wedding on Saturday we didn't know when the power was going to return.  

Jason and Dimitri had many guests from out of town and also plans for a two week honeymoon in Brazil two days after the wedding.  Rescheduling the wedding would have been very difficult so we agreed to explore some alternate venues.  I presented some office space and a few cool raw spaces as backup options.  Unfortunately one of the raw spaces was over the bridge in Long Island City and the other was cost-prohibitive.  The bridge was daunting given the traffic that week and with subways in rough shape, we were looking at one option:  a pretty ugly office space.  

The cost of that was also quite high (about $20,000) so Jason decided to ask whether his law firm's conference floor was available...it was and I orchestrated the move from Glass Houses to a Midtown Manhattan office building.

We were very fortunate that all of the fabulous wedding vendors we'd hire were still available and committed to Jason and Dimitri.  The photographer's parents lost their house and were out of town, so she was personally dealing with that, but still made it to the wedding.  The DJ had no power and no gas in his car but he made it.  The bartenders' bar was literally under water but they made it.  The floral designer's warehouse was without power and inaccessible.  And on and on...I was so impressed by the efforts of this amazing team.

And the wedding itself?  It was great!  We beautified an office space with tons of uplights and pipe and drape.  We added a beautiful white dance floor, great lounge furniture - and you'd never know we were in an office building. 

I was so impressed not only by the vendors but that most of the guests were also able to make it.  We had a few drop-outs because of travel issues or hurricane damage but overall, most guests came.

The Huffington Post also tells this story with an interview with the grooms.

What do you think?

Special thanks to the amazing team:

• Shawn Rabideau Floral
• Lisa Ross Photography
• Sonnier & Castle Catering
• Cake Alchemy
• Cocktails in Motion
• Wendy Kidd Entertainment
• PBG Event Rentals

Now that marriage equality is the law in Maryland, Maine and Washington, here's the rundown on how to get married (note:  you must be 18).  Now, go gay weddings!!!

Maryland

• First date to apply:  January 2, 2013
• Waiting Period: 48 hours after license is issued
• Witnesses:  None
• Blood Test:  None
• Divorce Decree Required:  Yes
• Fee:  $35 and up
• Where to Apply:  Circuit Court's office in the county in which you plan to marry

Maine

• First date to apply:  December 6, 2012
• Waiting Period:  None
• Witnesses:  None
• Blood Test:  None
• Divorce Decree Required:  Yes
• Fee:  $20
• Where to Apply:  Town hall where one of the residents live, or if an out of state couple, any town hall.

Washington

• First date to apply:  December 6, 2012
• Waiting Period: 3 days after license is issued
• Witnesses:  2
• Blood Test:  None
• Divorce Decree Required:  No
• Fee:  $35 and up
• Where to Apply:  County Auditor's office

We were honored to be featured in New York Magazine's wedding issue once again, this time sharing some gay wedding etiquette and data from the Gay Wedding Institute.  A few of our couples were also interviewed!  Check out the story below!

Our Destiny New York elopement package is very popular - check out some scenes from our elopements this year...

Angela and Valerie

Mark and Richard 

James and David

Ashley and Marisol

(all photos by Kat Hempel)

We are consulting on the launch of what will be an incredible new website, www.GayDestinationWeddings.com, created by the world's destination wedding leader, www.DestinationWeddings.com.  DestinationWeddings.com has worked with many same-sex couples over the years but their new dedicated site will have fully Gay Wedding Institute-trained agents assisting LGBT couples on their weddings at very inclusive resorts around the world.

The company is hiring a full time position to facilitate this launch and you can read the job description here.