Weddings Redefined

This is exciting news. Today GLAD, New England's nonprofit legal rights organization, filed a lawsuit challenging the federal DOMA law.

DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) is the law signed by President Clinton that allows the federal government and individual states to not recognize same-sex marriage performed in states that allow it. DOMA is the reason that married same-sex couples in Massachusetts and Connecticut can't file joint federal tax returns. DOMA is the reason that if you fall in love with someone from overseas, that person won't get a green card if you marry in Massachusetts or Connecticut. DOMA is the reason that most out-of-state couples who marry in Massachusetts find that marriage invalid when they return to their home state (with some exceptions: NY, NM, RI included).

DOMA is a terrible, discriminatory law - so this challenge by GLAD is a big deal. In 2004-2005, I spent a year and a half as a volunteer on the GLAD hotline. Every Friday afternoon from 1-4:30, I'd answer calls, letters and emails from people who felt discriminated against. It was a powerful experience and GLAD remains one of my favorite charities to support.

GLAD takes a very thoughtful approach to its challenges and as such, is challenging only the parts of DOMA that unfairly discriminate against residents of Massachusetts (not the parts that affect non-residents and could be dismissed on the basis of federalism). This is why the plaintiffs are, as examples: widowers not eligible for survivor benefits; bi-national couples not receiving the same immigration treatment; and couples paying thousands extra for health insurance because if one is a federal employee, the couple is not eligible for joint marriage coverage.

I'll be following this challenge closely! This is very exciting news indeed. By the way, if you want to support GLAD, they accept donations.

OK, this is a little off topic, but did you watch the Oscars? I always get excited this time of year because once upon a time, I was a film student and I still love the movies. I was elated to see Milk win two well-deserved Oscars.

I was born in 1976 in NY. Harvey Milk died in 1978 in San Francisco. As such, I didn't know of him until I was an undergrad at Boston University and watched The Times of Harvey Milk documentary. He was an inspiration then and seeing Milk a few months ago, reinforced that. The film made me feel like I was there, in the crowd, at the rallies organized by Milk.

It's humbling to hear the stories of the leaders in the gay rights movement, to see how far things have come and have faith that same-sex marriage equality is coming next. It was inspiring to be around the new leaders of the gay marriage movement and hear their speeches when gay marriage came to Massachusetts in 2004.

I am incredibly moved by the acceptance speech of the writer of Milk, Dustin Lance Black, shown below.

I felt uplifted - but, because I am fueled by momentum and like to take things a step further, it left me with a question: how are you going to channel the inspiration you now feel? And that's a question I have for everyone who cares about this issue and was moved by last night's speech...

Have you heard of these white knots to show support for marriage equality for same-sex couples? I feel like I've been living under a rock to have never heard of them, but apparently lots of people will be wearing them at the Oscars. Check out WhiteKnot.org.

We are having some friends over to watch the Oscars so perhaps I'll buy some white knot making supplies to add to the festivities.