Applying to Get Married in DC (for same-sex couples)

Same-sex couples are - this very second! - lining up to apply for marriage licenses in DC!

History is being made as the 6th state in the country grants marriage equality.  

Here's the rundown of what you should know!

Hours of Operation - Mondays-Fridays: 8:30a.m.-5:00p.m.

Address
Moultrie Courthouse
500 Indiana Avenue, N.W., Room 4485
Washington, D.C. 20001
Phone: (202) 879-4840

Tips
  • The front door may be crowded but there are two other entrances
  • If you're one of the first 200 couples, you'll get a free cupcake from Hello Cupcake! 
  • Complete and print out your marriage application online before you go
  • Bring cash, at least $35
  • Bring a photo ID
  • There is a 3 day waiting period before you get your license so you can't get married until March 10th.
  • Be patient!  There will be long lines even though they've brought in extra staff to help.
  • Ignore any annoying protesters
Happy gay marriage in DC!  Did you apply today?  What was the scene like?

Maryland & Gay Marriage

Maryland residents should take note:  Attorney General Douglas Gansler issued a decision earlier this week indicating that state agencies should begin recognizing gay marriages performed in states where its legal.  You can read the NY Times article here.

The states where gay marriage is currently legal are Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire - and soon, DC.

Couples should note that their gay marriage won't be recognized by the federal government but state recognition is a giant leap forward in the right direction.

14 Stories offers destination wedding packages for Marylanders and those from other states.  You can read more about those packages here.

Are you thinking of marrying now that Maryland will recognize your union?

A History Lesson: Gay Marriage Timeline (in the US)

A History Lesson – the timeline of gay marriage in the US

  • November 18, 2003: The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court gives the state legislature 180 days to enact same-sex marriage. 
  • February 11, 2004: The Massachusetts General Court (legislature) completes the first step in a process that would ban same-sex marriage. The process is not continued. 
  • February 12 – March 11, 2004: The Mayor San Francisco, Gavin Newsom, orders City Hall to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.
  • May 17, 2004: Same-sex marriage starts in Massachusetts. 
  • August 12, 2004: The California Supreme Court rules that the San Francisco marriages are void. 
  • September 29, 2005: California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoes a same-sex marriage bill that was approved by the legislature.. 
  • October 12, 2007: California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoes same-sex marriage bill that was approved by the legislature. 
  • May 15, 2008: The Supreme Court of California overturns the state's ban on same-sex marriage. 
  • June 16, 2008: Same-sex marriage starts in California. 
  • September 10, 2008: HB436, a bill that seeks to "eliminates the exclusion of same gender couples from marriage", is submitted to the New Hampshire House of Representatives. 
  • October 10, 2008: The Supreme Court of Connecticut orders same-sex marriage legalized. 
  • November 4, 2008: California voters pass Proposition 8, amending the state constitution to ban same-sex marriage. 
  • November 5, 2008: Proposition 8 takes effect in California, stopping new same-sex marriage licenses from being issued after this date. 
  • November 12, 2008: Same-sex marriage starts in Connecticut. 
  • March 26, 2009: HB436 supporting same-sex marriage passes the New Hampshire House of Representatives. 
  • April 3, 2009: The Iowa Supreme Court legalizes same-sex marriage. 
  • April 6, 2009: A same-sex marriage bill is passed by the Vermont General Assembly and then vetoed by the governor. 
  • April 7, 2009: The Vermont General Assembly overrides the governor's veto of the same-sex marriage bill. 
  • b Connecticut governor signs legislation which statutorily legalizes same-sex marriage (see Oct. 10 and Nov. 12, 2008), and also converts any existing civil unions into marriages as of October 1, 2010. 
  • April 27, 2009: Same-sex marriage starts in Iowa. 
  • April 29, 2009: HB436 supporting same-sex marriage passes the New Hampshire Senate with minor amendments. 
  • May 6, 2009: Maine Governor Baldacci signs Marriage Equality Bill. The New Hampshire House of Representatives concurs with the Senate's amendments to HB436, and the bill supporting same-sex marriage advances to Governor John Lynch. 
  • May 12, 2009: A same-sex marriage bill passes in the lower house New York Assembly. 
  • May 26, 2009: The California Supreme Court upholds Proposition 8, but also upholds the marriage rights of the 18,000 same-sex couples married while same-sex marriage had been briefly legalized. 
  • June 3, 2009: The New Hampshire General Court passes new HB73, which includes protections for religious institutions, as required by Gov. John Lynch to secure his signature on HB436, a bill legalizing same-sex marriage. Gov. Lynch signs both bills the same day. 
  • September 1, 2009: Same-sex marriage starts Vermont. 
  • September 14, 2009: Same-sex marriage was scheduled to start in Maine, but was put on hold because enough signatures were collected to make this a ballot initiative. 
  • November 3, 2009:  Voters in Maine voted down gay marriage, therefore nullifying the law passed by the legislature and signed by the Governor.
  • December 15, 2009:  The DC Council voted to legalize gay marriage and the bill was signed by Mayor Adrian Fenty three days later.
  • January 1, 2010: Same-sex marriage starts in New Hampshire.
What's the status of gay marriage where you live?

Certified Copy of Your Marriage License

It sounds like such a boring topic but the reality is that if you want to change your name or get on your spouse's health insurance plan, or get new passports after your gay marriage, you need a certified copy of your marriage license.

After you get married, the state of Massachusetts and the cities don't send you a single thing in the mail.  It's all on file in some ginormous filing room somewhere.  As far as they're concerned, you're married and they don't need to remind you of that fact.

But you still need that certified copy.  Since many of our clients live in other states, sometime after the wedding, they have to send a self-addressed stamped envelope to City Hall with another form filled out, and a few weeks after that, they'll get the certified copy in the mail.  It's one more step couples have to go through.

Beginning in 2010, 14 Stories will obtain certified copies of your marriage license for you, saving you the time and hassle.  You won't even have to think about it anymore.  The certified copy will come in the mail about a month after your gay wedding.  Pretty easy stuff, so you can then go get your name changed or just frame it for posterity.

50,000 New York Couples

I feel terrible for the 50,000 same-sex couples in New York who will not be able to legally marry because the NY Senate defeated the gay marriage bill yesterday by a vote of 38-24.

The silver lining is that about a year and a half ago, Governor Paterson ordered NY to recognize the marriages of gay couples that were performed in states where gay marriage is legal.  Since then, I've helped a bunch of couples in Massachusetts and I know many more have gone right over the border to Connecticut.

For now, New York, this is not a bad situation to settle for, given that most other states won't recognize a gay marriage at all.  At least there's New England...

If you are from New York, has yesterday's defeat changed your wedding plans?  Did you expect the bill to pass?

Episcopal Weddings

Good news for gay couples in Eastern Massachusetts.  If you are so inclined, you may now have your marriage ceremony officiated by an Episcopal Priest.

Previously, Episcopal Priests could bless the ceremony but not actually sign the marriage license.  I saw this firsthand this year when a client had their wedding blessed by the Episcopal Priest but the pronouncement of marriage made by a Justice of the Peace.  The JP also signed the license.

Bishop M. Thomas Shaw III is the local Episcopal Bishop who made this decision, but it only affects churches within his jurisdiction, which is only Eastern Massachusetts.

Are you considering having an Episcopal Priest officiate at your wedding ceremony?

Name Changes for Gay Couples

One of the questions I get commonly from my out of state clients is how they change their name after marriage.  Here in Massachusetts, you write your new last name on your marriage application and the certified copy you can order will have the new name.  That certified copy will be accepted by the Social Security administration and the RMV.  This works in Massachusetts - but what happens when you return home to wherever you are from?


Thoughts on Maine and Other States

I've been thinking a lot about the great state of Maine.

The news early yesterday that voters decided not to allow gay marriage was hard to swallow. After all, it's been a great year for gay marriage with it coming to Iowa (through a court case) and Vermont and New Hampshire (through legislation). It almost felt like it was a given.

The thousands of volunteers who went door to door and called strangers throughout the state to ask for their support of gay marriage, should be applauded. It's hard work, getting out the vote, trying to be persuasive in 15 seconds before they hang up the phone or slam the door. I didn't go up there and I didn't volunteer. I feel absolutely horribly guilty about this.

Maine is a wonderful place and someday will be an excellent destination for gay weddings. It's coastline and mountains provide unparalleled scenery. Its people are kind in the New England way of being kind. And 47% of those people said YES to gay marriage, more than ever before. That's progress.

Most people I've spoken to have had a strange week. Maybe it was the full moon on Monday but things have been slightly off. I do think, though, that we have reason to be optimistic. Washington State voters approved a comprehensive domestic partners act. And although New Jersey voters voted out Gov. Corzine, he has indicated that he'd sign a gay marriage bill before he leaves office and his anti-gay marriage successor takes over. That means that, fingers crossed, New Jersey could be next.

In the big picture, this defeat in Maine is just a small setback. In fact, a Washington Post/ABC poll from earlier this year, indicated that more people supported gay marriage than opposed it. I know it seems surprising given the will of the voters in California a year ago and Maine this year, but we must keep the good fight.

I will keep planning legal gay weddings in the places I can plan them, and those guests whose hearts and minds were changed will tell their neighbors how beautiful it was. Those neighbors will tell their friends and someone else's gay son will get married and it'll be another beautiful day and more walls of resistance will crumble. That's the way it works and that's why I do what I do.

Bernadette

Gay Wedding Tradition: Pre-Ceremony Champagne

More often than not, and enough to call it a gay wedding tradition, guests to gay weddings are greeted with passed sparkling wine and water before the wedding ceremony.

Why?  It sometimes happens with straight couples.  Why is this so common with gay weddings?

The main reason is that gay weddings are different.  Most attendees to gay weddings are straight and have never been to one before.  They don't know what to expect and may be a little on edge.

The passed sparkling water and wine lets your guests know that this wedding will be different.  That it will be fun.  And that yes, let's take the edge off a little bit.

We did it at our wedding and it was a big success (even when the photographer accidentally kicked over a poorly placed glass during the ceremony).  Mazel tov!

Have you been to a wedding where this has been offered before?  Wasn't it fun?

Why I Do What I Do

One of the coolest things about my job is meeting amazing couples, many of whom come here from other states to legally marry.  It's one of the many things that makes my career as a wedding planner so fulfilling.  I love producing weddings and being the architect of it all - but more importantly to me, I know I am helping LGBT couples get their equal rights.

I had such an opportunity back in August when Frank and Matt from Arkansas hired me for a Vows plus package, which involved the license in one day, cake, flowers, a ceremony location (they chose a church in Brewster), photographer and dinner reservations for their ten guests.

Most of my planning with these couples is done by phone and email so meeting in person is always a treat.  One of the things that Frank and Matt shared with me is that they are one of the plaintiffs in a case brought by the ACLU against the State of Arkansas, seeking to end the ban on adoption by unmarried couples, which was a law passed last November by a voter referendum and was designed to discriminate against the LGBT community.

This week I was walking around my neighborhood and stopped by someone from the ACLU looking for my support and that young person mentioned this case.  I feel such a personal connection to this case because I adore these great guys.

These are the kinds of guys, who have returned home to Arkansas, legally married with a relationship legitimized by a government, who are changing hearts and minds about the issue of gay marriage - just by knowing them, hearing their story and seeing how in love they are.  Their decision to be part of that ACLU case is just a bonus.

Here they are on their wedding day - and by the way, you should consider supporting the ACLU:



Photo by Zoom-Photography.