How to Get Married In New York (Updated!)

Now that same-sex marriage has been legalized in New York state (YAY!), you're probably wondering how to get married.  Here are some Frequently Asked Questions:

When does gay marriage go into effect in New York?
 The law goes into effect on July 24 but that date is a Sunday.  The New York City marriage bureau will be open on Sunday to accept applications and judges will be on hand to waive the 24 hour waiting period to marry, and also to officiate ceremonies on that same day, July 24.  Binghamton and Syracuse city halls will also be open on the 24th.  It is unclear whether those cities will have judges on hand to waive the 24 hour wait and perform ceremonies.  

To the best of our knowledge, only New York City is making it possible for couples to legally marry on July 24. Couples looking to marry in other parts of the state can begin having marriage ceremonies on July 26, 2011.  

Do I have to live in New York to get married there?

No, anyone can apply for a marriage license in New York State.  There is no residency requirement but you must be unmarried and 18 years or older.

Where can I apply for a marriage license?
You can apply at any city or town clerk's office in the state of New York.  Both partners must be present.  Couples can apply online through the City of New York as early as July 5.  Couples who apply in person can apply beginning Monday, July 25.

Is a blood test required?
No.

Is there a waiting period to get the marriage license?
There is not a waiting period to get the license - you receive it right away.  

How soon after applying for a license can I get legally married?
24 hours or more.

Are there witnesses required in order to get legally married?
One witness 18 or older is required.

How much is the marriage license application fee?
Outside of New York City, the fee is $40.  In NYC, the fee is $35.

How long is the marriage license valid for?
60 days

Can I apply online for a marriage license?
Yes, you can, in New York City, but both partners must still go in person to pick up the marriage license.

What paperwork is required when I apply for my marriage license?

This varies by the city or town in which you apply.  In New York City, you can bring a driver's license or passport and be fine.  Elsewhere you may be asked for two things: Either a birth certificate OR a baptismal record OR a naturalization record OR a Census record AND a driver's license OR a passport OR a work ID with photo OR an immigration record. 

Who can officiate the marriage ceremony?
The mayor of a city or village; the former mayor, city clerk, or deputy city clerk of a city with 1 million+ residents; a marriage officer appointed by the town or village board; a justice or judge; a village, town or county justice; a member of the clergy authorized to perform marriage ceremonies.


If I don't live in New York, will my marriage be recognized by my home state?
It depends on where you live, but in most cases, probably not.  It will be recognized in Connecticut, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Iowa, California, New Mexico, Maryland and D.C.

Is my New York gay marriage recognized by the U.S. federal government?
Unfortunately, no it is not.

If I get legally married in New York, will I still need special legal paperwork to protect my family?
Yes, if you plan to travel with your partner beyond New York state, it will be necessary for you to hire an attorney to draw up paperwork to protect your family in case something happens in a state where your marriage is not recognized.  You will need a Health Care Proxy, a Durable Power of Attorney and a will or trust.

How do I change my name?
You'll be asked your new last name on the marriage application.  Once you receive your official copy of your marriage license, you can use that document to change your name on social security card, driver's license etc, if you live in the state of New York.  If you live out of state, and in a state where your marriage is not legally recognized, it's much harder and will, in most cases, require a judge's order.
Leave A Comment | Permalink | POSTED: Thursday, July 07, 2011

14 Stories on TheKnot!

I believe I've neglected to tell my faithful readers of this blog that TheKnot.com invited me to be the blogger for their gay wedding website, Gay.Weddings.com.  For the past few weeks I've been blogging over there in addition to here and I'll be keeping up this blog.  This is a big honor for 14 Stories.  As the first company in the country to specialize in gay wedding planning, it's great to be acknowledged as gay wedding experts by the #1 wedding website in the world, TheKnot.com!

Thanks for all your support and please follow me over on Gay.Weddings.com
and comments on those posts as well! 
Leave A Comment | Permalink | POSTED: Tuesday, July 20, 2010

For Vendors Looking for Referrals

In our line of work, as wedding producers, the "hub" of a wedding production process, I hear from a lot of wedding industry vendors.  It only makes sense for vendors like photographers, DJs and so forth to reach out to wedding producers - we are the link to couples.  And for our company in particular, we are the link to same-sex couples.  When I first started this company six years ago, we got tons of press and my phone was ringing off the hook - but mostly from vendors looking for referrals.

It's frankly annoying to be constantly approached by the same-old, same-old vendors, nothing particularly unique or engaging. For about three years, I avoided local wedding industry networking events because I was tired of being offered dull business cards.

I've changed my approach in part because now I have something to sell these vendors in return:  knowledge about LGBT couples the unique aspects and challenges of gay weddings.  I launched my GayWeddingInstitute.com site over six months ago and it's been getting some great traction from vendors who care about educating themselves so they can better serve the LGBT community.  Any vendor who emails 14 Stories soliciting business gets a solicitation in return.  If you want to be brilliant with same-sex couples, I can show you how.  There are lots of dos and don'ts.

If you are a vendor, how are you educating yourself on the unique needs of gay, lesbian bisexual and transgender couples?
Leave A Comment | Permalink | POSTED: Thursday, June 17, 2010

Rights and Responsibilities of Marriage p3

We're very pleased to present the seventh in a series of articles about legal resources for same-sex couples.  Our goal is to make sure that your gay or lesbian family is protected, both as you plan your gay wedding and continue your lives together.  The article below was written by Claire Bartholome, who in addition to being an estate planning attorney, is also a client of 14 Stories.

Recognition of marriage confers hundreds of benefits applying not only to spouses, but to family and next of kin as well. With those rights, however, come responsibilities, and while we celebrate gains in equality no matter the consequences, same-sex couples should understand what true marriage “recognition” will mean for them.  Over the next few weeks I will be discussing the mixed consequences of marital recognition for same-sex couples. 

This week: rights to health insurance benefits.  While married individuals are now entitled to extend employer-based health benefits to same-sex spouses in Massachusetts, it may not always be in the couple’s best interest.   

  • Generally, employer-based health insurance, even if it requires the employee to contribute to the cost of premiums, provides a significant tax savings since the employee’s portion is purchased with pre-tax dollars.  Federal law, however, considers the amount spent on providing health insurance coverage to a same-sex spouse is taxable income, so same-sex couples often owe more in taxes than their opposite-sex counterparts.
  • There is one exception to the general rule of federal taxation. If a same-sex spouse qualifies as a “dependent” under IRS rules without regard to his or her status as a spouse, the value of the benefit to the “dependent” is not taxed as wages to the employee.  Also, in states that recognize the marriages of same-sex couples, there is no state income tax on the value of spousal health insurance benefits.
  • Some same-sex couples actually pay less overall by maintaining separate health insurance coverage either through employers or by purchasing individual plans.  In Massachusetts, individuals can compare the cost and coverage of health insurance plans online at www.mahealthconnector.org.
  • LGBT Families must also consider how to cover dependent children.  If parents maintain two separate health insurance plans, they must research the impact of adding children to either plan.  Note also that if the children were not born to one of the spouses during the marriage or if only one spouse is the children’s legal parent, the non-parent spouse will not be able to add the children to her health insurance plan.
  • If same-sex couples receive benefits through an employer-sponsored domestic partnership plan, specifically for unmarried couples, then marriage may disqualify an individual from benefits. Same-sex couples should check in advance with employers to ensure that they are covered one way or another.
 
Being treated as a married couple for the purposes of obtaining health insurance is tempered by continued discrimination on the part of the federal government and some employers.  These challenges, however, will continue to be a part of the fight for equality … for better or for worse.

Claire Bartholome is an Attorney with the Law Office of William J. Brisk.  Her practice specializes in estate planning for same-sex couples in order to combat discrimination, legal challenges, and prejudice.  This information is not intended to provide legal advice.  For information as to how the laws apply to your specific situation, consult an attorney.  www.briskelderlaw.com

Leave A Comment | Permalink | POSTED: Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Rights and Responsibilities of Marriage p2

We're very pleased to present the sixth in a series of articles about legal resources for same-sex couples.  Our goal is to make sure that your gay or lesbian family is protected, both as you plan your gay wedding and continue your lives together.  The article below was written by Claire Bartholome, who in addition to being an estate planning attorney, is also a client of 14 Stories.

Recognition of marriage confers hundreds of benefits applying not only to spouses, but to family and next of kin as well. With those rights, however, come responsibilities, and while we celebrate gains in equality no matter the consequences, same-sex couples should understand what true marriage “recognition” will mean for them.  Over the next few weeks I will be discussing the mixed consequences of marital recognition for same-sex couples. 

This week: spouses’ rights to inherit property.  Generally, if an individual dies without a Will, his or her estate will be automatically distributed to a spouse and any issue or kindred (children or other family members).  In states that recognize same-sex marriage, these rules apply equally to opposite-sex or same-sex couples.  If an individual dies with a 
Will, however, she or he cannot completely disinherit a spouse unless the couple signed a valid prenuptial agreement. As a result, a spouse is entitled to a share of the estate.  This can introduce complications that have traditionally faced only opposite-sex couples.  

  • In Massachusetts and Connecticut, a marriage revokes all previous Wills unless they were made specifically in contemplation of a marriage.  Many same-sex couples previously drafted legal documents to protect one another and are now marrying later in life.  If they wish to distribute assets according to their own wishes, not according to prescribed state statute, they must complete new Wills after marriage.
  • Keep in mind, however, that before gay marriage became legal, same-sex couples could omit a partner from a Will in order to benefit other children, individuals, or charities.  Now that they are married, a spouse is entitled to a share of the estate even if she or he were omitted from the earlier Will.  Certain government benefits, including MassHealth in Massachusetts, will consider the refusal of a spousal share as a gift to the other beneficiaries named in the Will, with dramatic consequences for eligibility (see last week’s post).
  • Same-sex couples with significant assets must also remember that federal estate tax law, and the federal definition of marriage, determines whether married couples can make tax-free transfers between spouses.  Therefore, while an individual can leave hers or his entire estate to an opposite-sex spouse, which will only be taxed upon the death of the second spouse, this benefit is not available to same-sex married couples.
Remember, unmarried same-sex couples or couples in states that do not provide marriage equality may still provide for a partner in a Will.  The presumption where there is not a valid marriage is for the individual’s parents or siblings to benefit when an individual dies without a Will.  A non-married or non-recognized same-sex partner will be completely ignored as a matter of law. 

Being treated as a married couple for the purposes of inheritance requires thoughtful planning, and the benefits of recognition are tempered by continued discrimination on the part of the federal government.  These challenges, however, will continue to be a part of the fight for equality … for better or for worse.

Claire Bartholome is an Attorney with the Law Office of William J. Brisk.  Her practice specializes in estate planning for same-sex couples in order to combat discrimination, legal challenges, and prejudice.  This information is not intended to provide legal advice.  For information as to how the laws apply to your specific situation, consult an attorney.  www.briskelderlaw.com

Leave A Comment | Permalink | POSTED: Wednesday, March 17, 2010

How Can Trusts Protect the LGBT Family?

We're very pleased to present the fourth in a series of articles about legal resources for same-sex couples.  They will be posted every Wednesday.  Our goal is to make sure that your gay or lesbian family is protected, both as you plan your gay wedding and continue your lives together.  The article below was written by Claire Bartholome, who in addition to being an estate planning attorney, is also a client of 14 Stories.

While basic Estate Planning, involving simple joint ownership, may solve some problems and avoid costly, time-consuming probate, Estate Planning for same-sex couples requires additional care.  Transfers of property to an opposite-sex spouse are fully exempted from both Federal estate and gift taxes, but since the IRS uses the Federal definition of marriage, this exemption does not apply to same-sex couples.  

Even if property is held jointly, the IRS includes the entire value of the property in the estate of the first owner to die unless the surviving owner can provide evidence of contribution to the acquisition of the property; this issue does not exist for married opposite-sex couples.   

While Trusts are commonly used in Estate Planning for opposite-sex couples, they may be particularly important tools for same-sex couples because: 
  • Trusts help to keep your wishes private because they avoid probate; they involve only the Trustee and beneficiaries, not the court.
  • Irrevocable Trusts can protect assets from creditors, but require relinquishing authority over assets.
  • Well-crafted Trusts are difficult for third-parties to contest and are therefore more resilient against attack by hostile family members.
While some tax-sensitive Trusts are ideally suited for couples with sizeable assets, many basic Trusts allow couples to avoid probate and protect the interests of their loved-ones.

  • For couples with significant assets, an Irrevocable Life Insurance Trust can shelter policy proceeds from estate taxes regardless of marital status.
  • A Testamentary Trust can support a surviving spouse without jeopardizing eligibility for important government benefits.
  • A Credit Shelter Trust applies the exemption from either State or Federal estate tax available to all persons regardless of marital status, minimizing the tax on passing on the combined assets at the death of the second spouse/partner.
  • A Grantor Retained Income Trust can transfer wealth at a discount from the wealthier to the less wealthy spouse or partner in same-sex couple relationships.
It is important, however, to consult with an attorney who is not only well-versed in the language of Trusts, but also sensitive to the needs of same-sex couples since some commonly-used Trust structures rely on the Federal definition of marriage and therefore will not work for same-sex couples.

    Claire Bartholome is an Attorney with the Law Office of William J. Brisk.  Her practice specializes in estate planning for same-sex couples in order to combat discrimination, legal challenges, and prejudice.  This information is not intended to provide legal advice.  For information as to how the laws apply to your specific situation, consult an attorney.  www.briskelderlaw.com

    Leave A Comment | Permalink | POSTED: Wednesday, February 24, 2010

    Ask Me Anything

    Hello and happy belated Valentine's Day.  I'm excited for all of you who are recently engaged and planning yourself a wonderful gay wedding.  It's an exciting time, isn't it?  I'm really happy for you.

    I wanted to tell you that I always feel really guilty about celebrating Valentine's Day because when I was 19 years old, my sister in law died in a car crash on Valentine's Day.  Since then, I've always had mixed feelings about the holiday but am still a huge fan of romance and would love to hear any of your romantic stories from Sunday.  Seriously, I'd love to.  What did your significant other do for you?  Or what did you plan for your S.O.?

    I also wanted to let you know that I've been answering questions - any questions at all, really - on this website:  www.formspring.me/gaywedding.  Feel free to ask questions there and I'll answer them there - or if you have burning questions about your own wedding plans, please email me at ask @ 14stories.com and I'll respond to those questions in this blog.  I love hearing from engaged couples so please ask away!  

    I've been doing this a long time, longer than anyone else, and I can pretty much answer everything.  You can also ask me personal stuff if you want to know more about me, or Jen, or both of us.

    I hope you have a great week.

    Bernadette

    Leave A Comment | Permalink | POSTED: Monday, February 15, 2010

    Introducing Gay Wedding Planning 101

    There's a lot of good stuff brewing around here at It's About Time.  Lots of ideas percolating, inspiration flowing and expansion plans generating . It's an exciting time to be in this industry and we love love love our clients!

    So, as you know, It's About Time will plan your same-sex wedding in Connecticut, no problem, even though we are Massachusetts-based.  If same-sex marriage comes to Vermont, New Hampshire and the other states in New England, you can bet we'll be there to guide couples through the heterosexist wedding industry.  Absolutely, we promise!

    But beyond New England, we know we can't be everywhere.  We'd love to try and maybe we will, but in the meantime, I'd like to announce a new workshop and mentorship program for anyone interested in learning the ins and outs of planning weddings, especially same-sex weddings.  This is especially useful if you have been paying attention to legislation and court cases and think that same-sex marriage will soon be legalized in your state.

    Our program is called Gay Wedding Planning 101. We have developed a very thorough, comprehensive curriculum and full day program for those who would love to start a business like ours wherever they happen to live.  In addition to the hands-on training (which will include vendor meetings, site walk throughs and amazing food and wine), we will provide a ton of files and resources for replication and a year-long mentorship with the opportunity to assist at a same-sex wedding (maybe even mine - wouldn't that be fun?!)  This workshop is different from anything you'll find elsewhere because not only does it focus on wedding planning but it also focuses a lot on running a business.

    There are loads more details on this new page of our website, Seminars.  Please spread the word - what we do is very important to couples struggling to navigate the industry.  Just this morning I had a note from a couple from New Mexico that said,"We really appreciate any help we can get.  We are excited to be married and this is the only site that has given us hope! Thank you."

    Click on this link to register for Gay Wedding Planning 101.  Once we hear from you, we'll be in touch to schedule a mutually agreeable date for the training.  As demand increases, we'll plan trainings with set dates and more participant slots, and the price will go down.

    Leave A Comment | Permalink | POSTED: Sunday, March 29, 2009

    Announcing a Wedding Planning Workshop for Couples

    It's About Time is thrilled to announce that we are hosting a wedding planning workshop for engaged same-sex couples, Weddings Redefined.  Our goal is to give couples the tools they need to plan their own wedding in the most stress-free and efficient manner.  The next workshop will be held on Monday, May 4, from 6-8pm at Umbria Restaurant.  Thanks to the generosity of Umbria, workshop attendees will receive wine and hors d'oeuvres during the workshop. 

    It's About Time has co-led a similar workshop in the past with GayWeddings.com and is reintroducing it with a fresh, updated curriculum. Couples who attend will leave with a packet of fantastic resources, tips and the confidence they need to plan a fabulous same-sex wedding that is reflective of their lives together.

    A modern floral arrangement will be raffled off to one lucky couple, courtesy of fabulous designer Jen Coveney of It's About Time.
    Leave A Comment | Permalink | POSTED: Sunday, March 29, 2009

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