The Emotions of Planning

Our wedding is now 80 days away - but who's counting.
I'm going to apologize in advance for an "all about me" post but it's getting increasingly odd being on the other side of wedding planning and going through so many of the same issues my clients face.  My concerns and emotions are not issues specific to a gay wedding as much as they are issues any couple may go through.

My parents passed away 8+ years ago so the planning has always been a little bittersweet for me, and I know I'm going to totally lose it on our wedding day.  I'm waiting to hear what our Celebrant has in mind as a way to acknowledge the loss of my parents.  During the wedding ceremony, there's often some subtle tribute to those no longer with us.



Jen's mom will be in town on Friday and together they are going for Jen's final dress fitting.  It's a rite of passage that I will be relying on the kindness of my friends to experience with me - once I figure out what I'm going to wear (but that's another post.)

All of my family lives out of state or out of the country, so only those in my immediate family were invited to our bridal shower on Saturday, and from that short list only one is coming.  Jen's family, on the other hand, lives mostly in Massachusetts - so our shower guests will be Jen's family, friends and my sister.  My sister can hold her own and I am grateful that she is coming but it makes me sad that she is coming alone.  It also makes me enormously grateful to be blessed with amazing friends and to be marrying into a family that completely embraces and supports me. 

Like many brides, I am anxious as to who from my family will come to the wedding. I invited dozens of cousins, aunts and uncles from around the world but have zero sense as to who from my entirely Irish-Catholic family will make the trip to Boston for my gay wedding.  (And of course, this has a significant effect on the budget and my emotions.) 

I have a major client right now whose wedding planning is on hiatus because the brother of a bride recently died - and there's no joy in planning after such a major loss.  The trick is preparing for a wedding as a celebration, to allow yourself to experience the joy of what you have and what you are creating, while finding whatever way you can to acknowledge the journey.

And right now, I know that all too well.  I am hopeful that an aunt or uncle from each side will come to my wedding to "represent" for my parents, but their ages and distance may make that impossible.  But we do what we can.

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