Getting Parents Excited About Your Gay Wedding (part one)

Some parents will freak out if you announce that you’re marrying a person of the same gender.  Some parents have a hard time with the idea of gay marriage even if they support your relationship.  To some, it may not seem real because it may not be real in the state where they live.  And if you’re like Jen and I, and many of our clients, the relationship may have been a whirlwind one and the engagement may have come fairly quickly.

Whatever the case is, the question is – how do you get your parents excited about your gay wedding?

In this multi-part series, I'm going to share my tips on this subject.

I’m an expert at this because I've seen so many couples struggle with this issue.  Jen did not get the reaction she had hoped for from her parents.  They were a bit stunned.  In all fairness, Jen had been engaged to a woman before (in her wild youth) but now Jen was a grown up, in her thirties, and she found me.  And I’m very lovable.  But her parents were less than thrilled.  Why? 

I’ve since talked to them about this.  The main reason is because, as Maryland residents, gay marriage is not something that’s on their radar.  It doesn’t seem possible. Yet here in Massachusetts and in five other states, it is.  We’re used to it.  They are not.

Step one:  Be patient.  Don’t get bent out of shape if your parents are less enthusiastic than you’d hoped.  Give them time.  Don’t get defensive and bitter.  Remember that it may have taken you a while to get used to the idea (of being gay or of getting married) so be patient with their process.

Jen was frustrated and angry with her parents for not being more excited about our wedding.  I urged patience.  She had no choice.  Jen’s parents are incredibly kind people and came around, of course.

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