Getting Parents Excited About Your Gay Wedding (part five)

This is part five in my seven part series on how to get your parents excited about (and involved in) your gay wedding.  Part four is located here.

Step five (if applicable):  Ask for financial support.  Now that your parents are excited and engaged and sharing their suggestions and input, if you are hoping for their financial contribution, this is the time to ask.  Once they understand that this is something that that is really happening, here is your chance to ask for financial help (if you are hoping for it).  Obviously only do this if your parents have some reasonable capacity to contribute.  Use your best judgment.  But if you do so, start by complaining about money, “I didn’t know how much a wedding was going to cost.”

And here’s the best one, “I don’t think we can invite the cousins, your friends from work and John and Jane, your next-door neighbors because we just can’t afford it.”

If your parents bite and are willing to contribute, I’d advise asking for a specific dollar amount rather than for coverage of certain expenses.  The reason is that if you ask them to pay for the band and the photographer, your parents might feel like they get to pick out those vendors.  And you don’t want to relinquish that control to your parents.  This is your vision.

Jen said priceless gems such as, “Even though Bernadette’s a wedding planner, it’s still crazy how much things cost when it’s your own wedding!” 

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