Weddings Redefined

This is part three in my series on how to get your parents excited about your gay wedding.  Part one is here and part two is here.

Step three (this is the most critical step): 
Ask for advice – not financial help.  Don’t ask for help with the plans yet.  Don’t ask for money.  Ask open ended questions about etiquette things like who to invite, i.e. “Should we invite all of our second cousins to the wedding?” Or logistical matters: “We’re thinking of having an outdoor ceremony. What do you think of that?”  Ask advice about things that they will want to be involved in.

In our case, Jen asked her mom for ideas on which of their friends to invite and whether her grandma could make the trip.  This technique starts to lay on the groundwork for their future involvement and reinforces the notion that this is really  happening and you are their perfectly normal, gay child.