Weddings Redefined

Note:  Bernadette first wrote this for SoYoureEnGAYged.com.  

Your friends are guests at your wedding. Guests! They should be treated like guests! They will probably be giving you a gift. They’ll probably be giving you emotional support through your stressful months of planning! No matter how bridezilla or groomzilla you get, no matter how crafty and Do It Yourself you are, and no matter how low your budget, your friends should not be working at your wedding.

That means: no moving of chairs, no post-wedding clean up or breakdown, no food or bar service, no pseudo-professional photography, no gathering of groups for formal photos and no DJing.

You do have my permission, however, to use your friends in the following ways, and with some exceptions:

• Officiate your wedding ceremony 
•  Sing or perform music in your wedding ceremony 
• Make announcements (as long as there aren’t too many announcements, and as long as only one friend is in charge) 
• Make your wedding cake (prior to the wedding day) 
•  Drop off setup and décor materials 
• Some setup assistance (only if you don’t have a wedding planner, and only if those friends are not in the wedding party) Videography (only if you have a friend who really enjoys being behind the camera – we all have one of those) 

Remember, in most cases, your friends aren’t professionals. If the video or the cake, for example, doesn’t come out perfect, you can’t resent them for it. If they are in charge of wedding setup and oversleep, have a family emergency or a flat tire, you can’t blame them – you’re not paying them.

Are you planning to use your friends’ help on your wedding day?