14 Stories

My friend Fiona posted to Facebook this morning that she's been asked to give a toast on Saturday at her friend's gay wedding. She was looking for words of wisdom and inspiration.  She asked questions like "What do you think love is?" and "What would you say at a marriage toast?"

Great questions!  My only rules for toasts are:  1) don't have more than 4 people toast (2-3 is even better); 2) remind them to keep the toast under 3 minutes; and 3) ask people in advance lest there be an accidental "open mic"!

So, back to my friend Fiona - she received some good suggestions including:

• "To love and be loved right back is the most precious thing in your life"

• the Hugh Grant's toast from Four Weddings and a Funeral, in particular, I like when he speaks of his awe and wondrous disbelief at two people finding someone to love for the rest of their lives when the world seems bent against it happening.

• part of the Goodridge case that legalized equal marriage in Massachusetts. There is an incredibly beautiful part about what marriage really is about.

• "When the roaring flames of your love have burned down to embers, may you find that you've married your best friend."

I've been asked to give several toasts at friends wedding and I've always enjoyed it...my MO is to say great (but funny) things about each partners as individuals, then great (but funny) things about them as a couple, then kind and sweet well wishes.  And keep it under 3 minutes!

What would you say if asked to give a speech at a friend's same-sex wedding?

Our New York City elopement packages continue to be a big hit with Rhen at the helm.  In the past few weeks, we've worked with some great couples from Texas and Michigan to create extraordinary mini weddings.

First, Bill and Nick came in from Texas with their teenage kids who didn't know they were attending their dads' wedding!  They also brought the kids moms, some other family and a small group of friends for about 12 in total.  We upgraded to a limo coach, rented a chapel, added in a mini orchestra, upgraded to a custom ceremony officiated by a former priest and made their experience the biggest elopement package to date!  Of course, as they pointed out, everything is bigger in Texas!  

Until the professional photos come in, check out this photo I took from Bill and Nick's wedding during our NYC elopement package:

We work very hard to cultivate a curated list of wedding professionals with whom to partner.  Among other things, we expect them to deliver innovative work in a timely, professional manner, and be strong supporters of LGBT rights.  Ladyfingers Letterpress is one of our favorite companies.  This Rhode Island-based company is owned by a married lesbian couple who consistently go above and beyond for our clients.  When the boxes arrived on Saturday with invitations for two of our upcoming weddings, I was totally blown away.  They even sourced leather pouches, painted the edges and printed on it for a truly spectacular result.  

PS - the Ladies even designed our 14 Stories business cards and did our website redesign (which is kind of a secret because they try to stay away from web stuff, but we have such a good relationship with them, that they agreed). 

Check out these stunning invitations below!

I shared a bottle of wine yesterday with my new friends Eva Marie, Birna and Hannes from Pink Iceland.  They are three friends (Eva and Birna are a couple) who started a business promoting LGBT travel and wedding planning in Iceland, where same-sex marriage is legal.  Little did they know that straight couples would be calling them, too, because they are the best at what they do!

During our conversation, I learned a lot about Iceland, a country which not only tolerates being gay but completely celebrates it.  They are only a population of 325,000 people but they have a fabulous sensibility.  And the natural landscape is gorgeous in Iceland.  Within 40 minutes of the main city (Reykjavik), you can be in stunning natural settings, that you just don't find much of in the U.S.

I know that I'll be adding them to our list of international partners for gay destination weddings.  I just LOVE this photo of two grooms near a geyser. 

(photo by Kristen Maria)

I recently shared my Top 10 Tips for a Great Gay Wedding with Urbanette magazine.  Check it out - though I'm pretty sure I never said "As anyone whose been to one can attest to, gay weddings are simply more fun."  I may have thought that, but I definitely didn't say it!

I'm thrilled to introduce Rhen St. Christopher as our new Elopement Coordinator in New York City.  If you're coming to 14 Stories to plan a great mini gay wedding in New York City, Rhen's your guy!

Rhen's a great guy who comes to us from a hair stylist background, though I'm also impressed by his event planning skills, developed when working for some major hair product companies.  Here's Rhen's official bio!

Rhen spent his early days on Cape Cod enjoying the sun, sand and surf. Realizing that the beaches and lazy resort community only offered so much, he headed off to the big city of Los Angeles, pursuing the dream of being the next Vidal Sassoon. Rhen applied his skills as a stylist to women, men, and children of all ages and developed a passion for bringing out the beauty in everyone. Listening to peoples stories of their lives inspired Rhen to travel the world in order to experience first hand some of the many beautiful things he had heard and dreamed about.

After spending many years living in cities like Boston, Miami, Los Angeles, and Providence, Rhen found a home in New York City – where all the cultures he loves merge together. Rhen brings and excitement and a passion to everything he does and loves to spend his free time running in Central Park, exploring the wonders of New York City, or finding “hidden gems” in all 5 boroughs. On the laziest of days, he has an obsession with the Food Network and HGTV.

If you're in the wedding industry, you may have caught the story floating around Facebook and Twitter about Anne Almasy, the wedding photographer from Atlanta who bought an ad in Weddings Unveiled magazine, only to have that ad rejected because it showed a photo of two brides. Not one bride. Not a bride and a groom. But two brides, marrying each other. 

I hate that this happened and that Anne Almasy had to have those conversations with the magazine. But I love this happened and I love that Anne Almasy had to have those conversations. Because, she, a straight women, wrote a fantastic blog post on what happened and her reaction and the comments and shares are starting a much needed dialogue in the wedding industry. 

An excerpt:

A friend of mine asked me, "Aren't there other publications who would be happy to advertise to the gay community?" And, you know, yes, I'm quite sure there are. But I chose Weddings Unveiled because I'm not trying to advertise to "the gay community." I'm advertising to couples who are getting married. This couple didn't get "gay married." They didn't have a "gay wedding." They got married. They had a wedding. They share their lives, their joys and sorrows, and all the mundane daily things that we all share with our partners. They are just people. In love. Committed to one another. 

And that blog post is getting a lot of attention and shining light on this issue. Yes, the wedding industry is evolving to be more LGBT-inclusive. But we also have a very long way to go. Weddings Unveiled brought to light one of the most common questions I'm asked during my LGBT wedding trainings for wedding professionals: how do I market to same-sex couples without alienating my straight audience? 

This is a legitimate fear that many in the wedding industry have. Clearly Weddings Unveiled is afraid of alienating their straight audience. They have a business. I get it. But the millennial generation, the majority of those planning weddings, overwhelmingly support same-sex marriage. In one study, 68% of American millennials support same-sex marriage. Still, there are examples of businesses that would rather not support these fabulous gay weddings. There's the bakery in Oregon that refused a wedding cake to a lesbian couple. There's the transportation company in Maryland that decided not to service ANY weddings rather than complying with the state requirement that they now service same-sex weddings. There's the venue in upstate New York that told a lesbian couple to go elsewhere. And so on. 

 Many other businesses suddenly get all booked up when they realize they're talking to same-sex couple. Others don't return calls and e-mails regarding gay weddings. This stuff happens all the time and I'm thrilled to see some press about it. And I'm also pleased with how Weddings Unveiled quickly and sincerely responded: The issue is very sensitive and it is also very divided. We knew that it was possible that people would be offended if we published the ad and we knew that it was possible that people would be offended if we did not. We are so sorry that we acted out of fear and uncertainty. We had never been faced with such a decision and we should have acted with our hearts.

 Because as Anne so beautifully said to Weddings Unveiled, "I hope you will see it through the eyes of history, for surely someday very soon your decision will seem archaic and absurd."

14 Stories is super committed to giving back to the LGBT community and while we support a variety of charities, the one in which I am most involved with is Family Equality Council.  Family Equality is focused on advocating for LGBT families in the U.S.  There are more than 2 million kids with LGBT parents in our country and that number is just growing.

Not only is 14 Stories a donor but I also personally volunteer as Vice-Chair of their Night at the Pier event in New York City.  This is truly an amazing and inspiring event which last year raised $800,000 for Family Equality.  Consider joining 14 Stories at this year's event on April 29 at Pier Sixty.  If you're interested in attending or sitting at our table, please contact me directly!

Like many LGBT folks, I've been following the two marriage equality-related court cases which have made their way to the U.S. Supreme Court and which will be heard this spring.  

One case will determine the Constitutionality of Proposition 8 in California and the other, DOMA and both have massive consequences for us LGBT Americans.

I'm Vice-Chair of the Family Equality Council event, Night at the Pier, and we recently voted to honor Roberta Kaplan at this fantastic event.  Roberta Kaplan is the attorney arguing the Windsor vs. the United States case being heard by the Supreme Court in a few months.

And last night, I finally watched the documentary about the amazing lesbian couple behind this case...I highly recommend Edie & Thea:  A Very Long Engagement.  It's on Netflix.  It's a beautiful love story of two women, together 42 years before legally marrying in Canada.  It's only a hour long - you should definitely check it out!

I love this wedding of Jess and Erika, a Brooklyn couple who married with us in Vermont last fall. Check out the beautiful photos by Carlos Castillo and the feature story in Vermont Vows magazine.