What the Golden Girls Say About Marriage Equality

I am preparing my speech for this Saturday's Celebrant USA Conference.  I am honored to deliver the keynote address.  In preparing, I came across this video from the Golden Girls, circa 1991.  The Golden Girls was my late (and very Irish-Catholic) mom's favorite show...wonder what she thought of this episode...  Check out this great clip below!

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Leave A Comment | Permalink | POSTED: Thursday, April 26, 2012

Gay Weddings Should Never Be Boring

I was sitting with clients last week and we were talking about the flow of their gay wedding in Boston.  I have this four page questionnaire I go through a few months before the wedding with our big wedding clients.  The conversation went something like this:

Me:  Are you having a first dance?
Them:  Nope
Me:  Are you having anything tossed?  Garter and bouquet are the typical things.
Them:  No
Me:  Are you dancing with your parents at all in any formal, announced way?
Them:  No
Me:  Are you cutting anything on the dessert display (this wedding has no wedding cake)?
Them:  No


All of these are fairly common answers when we're planning a gay wedding, though.  After all, those are traditional elements and many of our clients love the opportunity to be non-traditional and reinvent what weddings should look like!  And you completely have permission to do so!

The problem with those answers is that when we take out so many things, there is a lot of dead space and time.  The guests get bored and heaven forbid, the wedding ends early.  I believe it's very important to add things back in that are conversation starts and memory makers...

Here are some examples that we've experienced, have recommended or are recommending:

  • photobooth (the obvious example)
  • drag kings/queens 
  • some dance performance (fire dancer, salsa dancers, tango dancers, burlesque etc) 
  • caricature artist 
  • casino 
  • psychic 
  • cigar bar (if the venue allows it) 
  • aerial artist

The experience doesn't have to detract from the wedding or all the time spent dancing.  If it's a performance, keep it short, 1-2 songs MAX and keep it upbeat and appropriate.  

What are you doing to add some conversation starters and entertainment to your wedding?

Leave A Comment | Permalink | POSTED: Saturday, April 21, 2012

Keep Your Parents Busy

As I've mentioned before, there's definitely a trick to getting your parents exciting about your gay wedding plans.  The last tip in my series suggests giving your parents projects.  Here are some excellent projects to distract your parents that give them something to control that will keep them out of your hair:

  • plan and host the rehearsal dinner/welcome reception
  • plan and host a wedding shower
  • organize and assemble welcome bags for out of state guests (note: parents like being hosts so these three are very effective)
  • create a signature cocktail recipe
  • procure and assemble wedding favors (I once had a dad make homemade wine with custom labels - each couple received a bottle on their way out)
  • address and mail save the date cards and wedding invitations
  • write names on escort cards
  • organize guest transportation
If possible, avoid asking your parents to do your wedding planning.  As a gay wedding planner, I can tell you that the times I've dealt with moms and dads instead of the engaged couple, there's been confusion, mixed messages and a lot of wasted time.  Plus, your parents aren't always in sync with your own wedding vision.  Best to give them projects and a sense of control over the projects which aren't necessarily as important to you - while you deal with the stuff that you care most about.

What kinds of projects are your parents helping with, if any?

Leave A Comment | Permalink | POSTED: Saturday, April 07, 2012

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