14 Stories

For couples who are planning a New York gay wedding, it's easy to be overwhelmed by all the options.  There are so many search results that come up in google when you search "New York wedding venue" or "New York gay wedding venue", for example.  

So how do find the wedding vendors who you know will truly have your back?  Who will truly be the most inclusive and supportive advocates for you and your partner during your wedding planning process?  There are a lot of New Yorkers (yes, even in the wedding industry) who don't believe in gay marriage.

Your first stop should be www.SoYoureEnGAYged.com, of course!  Their wedding vendor directory is the only one in the U.S. that makes sure that the included vendors not only talk the talk, but walk the walk.  Those wedding vendors have proven to SYE that they have gender neutral photos and marketing materials so same-sex couples don't feel isolated or "less than."  I really admire their integrity and their directory is vast, with vendors for whatever your style and taste is.

So you can visit www.SoYoureEnGAYged.com on the web, of course, or just download our very own Gay Wedding Confidential wedding planning app (it's free!) and the SYE directory is built right in.  Gay wedding planning at your fingertips!

(Photo by Michael Manning)

Now that same-sex marriage is legal in New York, I'm sure that many of you have started your planning! Here are some tips for planning an incredible wedding in New York!

1. "I now pronounce you LEGALLY married!" That's a very powerful statement and it'll be made in one more state. Your guests will be in tears of joy for you as you are legally married. Consider hiring a Celebrant to write a personal and meaningful wedding ceremony for you.

2. Gay wedding traditions are alive and well. Think about incorporating one or more into your wedding, such as offering champagne to the guests before the wedding ceremony starts.

3. New York is so much more than New York City. You can also have a barn wedding in the Hudson Valley, a vineyard wedding on Long Island, or even a wedding in Niagra Falls. The choices are endless!

4. New York City weddings cost more than most places in the country. If you are planning a wedding in New York City and are budget-conscious, keep an eye on that guest list as an area for savings.

5. Remember that your wedding is your own. It's not your mom's, or your sister's, or your Aunt Suzie's. You can have any kind of wedding you want. Ignore any pressure you may get to follow tradition and feel free to have fun with the plans and make them extra reflective of who you are as a couple

And of course, we can help!

Are you planning a same-sex wedding in New York?

(photo by Kat Hempel)

When you are deciding how to word your wedding invitations, most couples start with who is hosting the wedding.  And by hosting, I mean actively supporting and/or paying for the wedding. The hosts could be a combination of parents, families, brides or grooms, their kids, etc.  And that's how invitations start.

For example:

Parents Inviting:
Jeffrey and Theresa Person
and
Joseph and Eileen Thompson
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage uniting their children
Joanne Person and Jamie Thompson

Couple Inviting:
Joanne Person and Jamie Thompson
request the pleasure of your company...

Couple and Parents/Family:
Together with our parents (you can substitute families)
Joanne Person and Jamie Thompson
request the pleasure of your company...

or

Joanne Person and Jamie Thompson
together with our parents (you can substitute families)
request the pleasure of your company...

Couple and their Children:
Joanne Person and Jamie Thompson
together with Louis and Julia
request the pleasure of your company...

If the names of the two brides or two grooms are on two separate lines, then who goes first?  Alphabetical of course!

Here are some examples of the "request" line that I like:

• joyfully invite you to share in their celebration of marriage
• please share in our gaiety as we wed (those were very silly brides!)
• joyfully request the honor of your presence
• invite you to rejoice in our love
• invite you to join in the celebration

And don't forget your invitation suite should also include a response card or postcard and also a logistics card with directions and your wedding website URL.

I'm so excited to finally share this beautiful real wedding with you.  I had to hold off because it was published in this issue of Destination Weddings and Honeymoons magazine and magazines require that real weddings not be published anywhere else until the issue comes out.  We are proud that this wedding was that mainstream wedding magazine's first same-sex wedding.  

So, the story...this is the story of Deb and Michelle.  They met online and promptly fell in love, and literally within months were engaged and calling 14 stories, from Columbus, Ohio, to plan their wedding.  Their vision was an intimate and relaxed wedding weekend experience on Cape Cod, with only about a dozen guests, all of whom were traveling in to share the joy.

We promptly suggested one of Cape Cod's most spectacular vacation rentals, a stunning 7 bedroom property, and they booked it immediately.  We orchestrated airport shuttles down to the Cape.  14 stories did all of the floral design.  Each guest room had a small floral arrangement, a welcome bag and the guests' name on a calligraphed door sign.  We arranged beautifully catered dinners on Friday and Saturday evenings, including a fun Friday night on the deck with s'mores and snuggies.  The entire experience was relaxed, elegant, intimate and fun for all and captured perfectly by the incredible photography of JAG Studios.

When I was a freshman in college at Boston University, I got an internship at WBUR, our local, Boston-area National Public Radio station.  It was so exciting being there, in the world of media and news and I loved every second behind the scenes.

The internship lasted a semester and I moved on and that was the end of that.

And then a few years post college, before this whole gay wedding planning business came about, I was really struggling with what to do with my life, just like many mid-twenty-somethings.  I was an avid listener of Car Talk and was once on the show with my own car-related question, "I'm good with my hands.  Should I be a mechanic when I grow up?"  I think we all know the answer to that one, but it was fun to be on the radio nonetheless.

Fast forward eight or nine years and here I am, a gay wedding planner, loving every minute of it, and NPR calls me to do an interview on music at gay weddings.  Of course!!  If there's anything I know something about, it's gay weddings and music is one of my favorite subjects.  And I love that so much of the music I hear at my clients' gay weddings is the same music that I was personally dancing to at clubs when I was newly out.  

So, without further ado, here's the interview for your listening - my thoughts on gay wedding music!

What kind of music is being played at your wedding?  Are you sticking with traditional wedding songs or going a more contemporary, pop route?

Memorial Day weekend was Hayley and Erica's wedding and I'll share the photos as soon as I have them, but in the meantime, here's a shot of me rocking out with my brides.  The fantastic band Brickpark had the girls singing along to "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey and called me up to join in.  Of course I did, and of course one of my favorite photographers, Kat Hempel, got the money shot.