Weddings Redefined

Stories and advice from Bernadette Smith, visionary owner of 14 Stories, the nation's first firm specializing in creating legal LGBT weddings. Our weddings are unique, personal, beautiful and still, historical. We have offices in Boston and New York.

DC's First Gay Marriages

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Gay marriage has officially come to DC and the first gay weddings took place today.

Three couples married in HRC's national headquarters and the video of their ceremonies is below  Enjoy the gay marriages and fabulous gay weddings to come!





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Thoughts on Engagement & Wedding Rings for Gay Couples

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Tuesday, March 09, 2010
I had a great question the other day I wanted to answer here:  Do gay couples wear wedding bands along with the engagement ring? For example, When two men marry will one of them wear an additional band to compliment the engagement ring?

In my observation, many men will only wear one ring, not two. In this case, often the engagement ring will double as a wedding band. 

Younger lesbian brides (those under 40) are likelier to wear two rings. For example, my wife Jen, like many lesbians, wears her engagement ring and wedding band next to each other on the same finger. This is very common, and of course, traditional. My engagement ring doesn't have a stone (my choice) so my engagement ring is now on the ring finger of my right hand, and my wedding band is on the ring finger of my left hand. 

I've noticed that gay and lesbian couples who are older and/or who've been together for a long time, already wear rings and in this case, usually substitute those rings with new wedding bands, forgoing an engagement ring altogether. These couples are also less likely to have had a traditional "pop the question" proposal experience, hence the lack of engagement rings.

What did you decide to do?




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Rights and Responsibilities of Marriage

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Friday, March 05, 2010
We're very pleased to present the fifth in a series of articles about legal resources for same-sex couples.  Our goal is to make sure that your gay or lesbian family is protected, both as you plan your gay wedding and continue your lives together.  The article below was written by Claire Bartholome, who in addition to being an estate planning attorney, is also a client of 14 Stories.

A marriage gives you automatic inclusion within and under hundreds of state laws that apply to spouses, family, and next of kin. With the rights of marriage, however, come responsibilities, and while we celebrate gains in equality no matter the consequences, same-sex couples should understand what true marriage “recognition” will mean for them.  Over the next few weeks I will be discussing situations where marital recognition may have mixed consequences for same-sex couples. 

This week: eligibility for long-term care coverage under Medicaid.  In Massachusetts, same-sex spouses now have full marital recognition for MassHealth, the state Medicaid program, which can have positive or negative effects depending on the relative wealth of the spouses.   

  • MassHealth views the couple’s combined assets in order to determine eligibility, so if the healthier spouse has significant personal wealth, he or she will need to spend down countable assets until they total less than approximately $112,000 (not including a home worth less than $750,000) in order for the less healthy spouse to qualify for coverage.
  • On the other hand, if the couple’s combined countable assets are $112,000 or less, the spouse in need of long-term care will qualify for MassHealth.  If the couple were not considered married for the purposes of MassHealth, the spouse in need of care would have to spend down to $2,000 before he or she would qualify and would not be able to transfer any assets to a non-married partner.
  • Generally, if an individual were to transfer assets to someone other than a spouse within 5 years of applying for MassHealth coverage, he or she would be subject to a disqualification period of 1 day for every $267 transferred.  Since same-sex marriages are recognized, spouses are allowed to transfer assets between themselves freely without incurring a disqualification period. 
  • Coupled with Federal gift tax law, however, transferring assets between same-sex spouses may still incur tax liability.  An individual can transfer $13,000 per year to any person, but when significant asset transfers are on the line, taxes may be imposed.  Each person can transfer up to $1,000,000 in a lifetime, but each gift made during life is deducted from that total.  While the Federal government provides that “married” persons can transfer assets freely between one another without gift tax liability, this applies only to opposite-sex spouses as a matter of Federal law.

Being treated as a married couple for the purposes of MassHealth requires much more planning than if spouses are considered separately, and the benefits of recognition are tempered by continued discrimination on the part of the Federal Government.  These challenges, however, will continue to be a part of the fight for equality … for better or for worse.

    Claire Bartholome is an Attorney with the Law Office of William J. Brisk.  Her practice specializes in estate planning for same-sex couples in order to combat discrimination, legal challenges, and prejudice.  This information is not intended to provide legal advice.  For information as to how the laws apply to your specific situation, consult an attorney.  www.briskelderlaw.com




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    How to Address Gay Wedding Invitations

    Bernadette Coveney Smith - Thursday, March 04, 2010
    It's confusing to figure out how to address invitations to LGBT couples.  Here's the rundown on how envelopes are addressed:

    Outer envelope:  If they are an unmarried couple, the names should be on two separate lines, alphabetized, ie:
    Ms. Jennifer Coveney
    Ms. Bernadette Smith
    14 Willow Street
    Boston, MA 
    02110

    Inner envelope:  Ms. Coveney and Ms. Smith

    Outer envelope:  If they are married with different last names, the names should be on the same line, alphabetized, ie:
    Ms. Jennifer Coveney and Ms. Bernadette Smith
    14 Willow Street
    Boston, MA 
    02110

    Inner envelope:  Ms. Coveney and Ms. Smith

    Outer envelope:  If they are married with the same last name, the names should be on the same line, alphabetized, ie:
    Mrs. and Mrs. Bernadette and Jennifer Coveney-Smith
    14 Willow Street
    Boston, MA 
    02110

    Inner envelope:  Mrs. and Mrs. Coveney-Smith

    PS - that's not our real address!




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    Applying to Get Married in DC (for same-sex couples)

    Bernadette Coveney Smith - Wednesday, March 03, 2010
    Same-sex couples are - this very second! - lining up to apply for marriage licenses in DC!

    History is being made as the 6th state in the country grants marriage equality.  

    Here's the rundown of what you should know!

    Hours of Operation - Mondays-Fridays: 8:30a.m.-5:00p.m.

    Address
    Moultrie Courthouse
    500 Indiana Avenue, N.W., Room 4485
    Washington, D.C. 20001
    Phone: (202) 879-4840

    Tips
    • The front door may be crowded but there are two other entrances
    • If you're one of the first 200 couples, you'll get a free cupcake from Hello Cupcake! 
    • Complete and print out your marriage application online before you go
    • Bring cash, at least $35
    • Bring a photo ID
    • There is a 3 day waiting period before you get your license so you can't get married until March 10th.
    • Be patient!  There will be long lines even though they've brought in extra staff to help.
    • Ignore any annoying protesters
    Happy gay marriage in DC!  Did you apply today?  What was the scene like?




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    Maryland & Gay Marriage

    Bernadette Coveney Smith - Tuesday, March 02, 2010
    Maryland residents should take note:  Attorney General Douglas Gansler issued a decision earlier this week indicating that state agencies should begin recognizing gay marriages performed in states where its legal.  You can read the NY Times article here.

    The states where gay marriage is currently legal are Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire - and soon, DC.

    Couples should note that their gay marriage won't be recognized by the federal government but state recognition is a giant leap forward in the right direction.

    14 Stories offers destination wedding packages for Marylanders and those from other states.  You can read more about those packages here.

    Are you thinking of marrying now that Maryland will recognize your union?




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